Good news. Or bad. Depending on your perspective.
I am being let out of my locked office for ten days to go on a book tour. I’ll be visiting eight different cities.
All in support of my next treasury, which looks like this:
The eight cities will be announced soon (Thus, the black strips over their names in the banner. That’s to build suspense. I hope you’re feeling suspensed.)
The tour will begin April 21. This will give all of the cities the necessary time to obtain restraining orders.
No, that’s not true. I can go anywhere.
But that’s a discussion for another day. So if you were planning on a big signing in Ankara, you might want to make other plans.
At each tour stop, I’ll be showing strips, reading hate mail, and signing books. I will not be perched atop a girl’s bicycle.
And please, someone bring beer. Even if the bookstores tell you not to. Because, as you can see from the photo above, I’m a rebel.
So for those of you who might not know, I have written a book series for kids called Timmy Failure. It’s about a little boy who is a detective. And is not smart. And can’t solve any crimes.
It’s filled with lots of drawings.
Contains an unethical polar bear:
And has a girl in a toilet.
There are four books in the series so far:
And you can get them at your local bookstore. Or, if you are lazy like me, you can just get them HERE. Or, HERE.
All four of the books are all written in the style of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Big Nate books (meaning they’re filled with lots of drawings and are easy to read). So if your son or daughter liked those books, they will hopefully like Timmy.
Best of all, they are written by me. And I am funny. According to me.
I’m often asked if I sell original Pearls strips. And unfortunately, I don’t.
But every year or so, I auction one off for charity. In this case, homeless kids here in my community of Santa Rosa, California.
So if you’ve always wanted to own an original strip, and would like to help a great cause in the process, there is ONE glorious day left to bid in the auction.
Just click HERE to see the wild and crazy bidding.
Your fearless cartoonist,
In honor of the upcoming Pearls Before Swine treasury, Pearls Gets Sacrificed, I am touring this whole angry nation. Not to be burned at the stake (truly, that would ruin things), but to talk about ME, and to talk about Pearls, and — if someone out there brings me gin — to sign your book.
The cover of which looks like this:
So, you may ask, where can you meet this idiot?
Right HERE. (And don’t worry if you’re not on Facebook — you can still view all the particulars.)
And if your town is not on the list — do not fret. There are two cities to be named later. Both of them will be part of the Timmy Failure tour, but on that tour, I always talk about Pearls anyways (and will even draw a Pearls character in your Timmy book).
And if all that fails — well, there’s this totally nuts idea: Go on vacation with me. That’s right. A cruise in January in the Caribbean where I sign your books, talk about Pearls, and apparently, eat dinner with you. (Believe me, you’ll want to switch tables). But more on the cruise stuff later.
For now, join the mob and come see me on the “One Step Ahead of the Mob” tour this September (but leave the pitchforks at home).
Your Favorite Idiot, Stephan Pastis
A sneak peek at the cover of the next Pearls treasury, Pearls Gets Sacrificed, which contains 18 months worth of strips, Pearls stickers, and of course, my insightful commentary. The book’s publication (and 8 city book tour) will all happen in September.
Cities to be announced soon.
If you’re like me, and have trouble doing good in life, here is your chance to turn things around.
On Saturday, June 20, at 1:00 pm, I will be speaking at the Disney Concert Hall in downtown Los Angeles. That’s right, they’re allowing me, Stephan Pastis, to speak in a respectable venue. I will talk about Pearls and Timmy Failure and all things Stephan.
But wait, that’s not all.
I will be appearing with many authors far more successful than my humble self, including Jeff Kinney (Diary of a Wimpy Kid), Dav Pilkey (Captain Underpants), and Lincoln Peirce (Big Nate). Why they are allowing me to join their esteemed ranks, I have no idea. It’s a big mistake. But it’s too late for them to do anything about it now.
And ah yes, the part about you doing good in life….
All proceeds from the event will go toward helping L.A. school libraries! That’s right. You can both hang out with me AND do good, which sounds like an oxymoron.
All of the info you need is right HERE.
So buy tickets. Buy lots of tickets. Help libraries. See me.
Oh, and see the other guys, too.
But mostly, see me.
So a couple weeks ago, when I was at St. Jude Children’s Hospital, I met this very cool kid named Tyler who’s battling leukemia. His mom happened to mention to me that he loves to see new “likes” on his Facebook page. So how about we blow his mind and add a few more “likes” to the 2,400 he has now.
Just go HERE and click “like”.