There Will Be No Actual Burning of Anyone

In honor of the upcoming Pearls Before Swine treasury, Pearls Gets Sacrificed, I am touring this whole angry nation.  Not to be burned at the stake (truly, that would ruin things), but to talk about ME, and to talk about Pearls, and — if someone out there brings me gin — to sign your book.

The cover of which looks like this:

pearls gets sac coverSo, you may ask, where can you meet this idiot?

Right HERE.   (And don’t worry if you’re not on Facebook — you can still view all the particulars.)

And if your town is not on the list — do not fret.  There are two cities to be named later.  Both of them will be part of the Timmy Failure tour, but on that tour, I always talk about Pearls anyways (and will even draw a Pearls character in your Timmy book).

And if all that fails — well, there’s this totally nuts idea:  Go on vacation with me.  That’s right.  A cruise in January in the Caribbean where I sign your books, talk about Pearls, and apparently, eat dinner with you.  (Believe me, you’ll want to switch tables).  But more on the cruise stuff later.

For now, join the mob and come see me on the “One Step Ahead of the Mob” tour this September (but leave the pitchforks at home).

tour promo art copy copyLove,

Your Favorite Idiot, Stephan Pastis

17 thoughts on “There Will Be No Actual Burning of Anyone

  1. Steph, I believe you forgot Minnesota.
    Please tell me you’re coming to Minnesota.
    You’re coming to Minnesota, right?
    You should come to Minnesota.

  2. Dude, you are the best, don’t ever give up, I love beer too🙂 A little too much, I tried this beer called OCULTO holie macaroni! ! It has 6% agave teguila ,pass out real soon

  3. So how much will you pay us to attend one of your events? I would be willing to travel from Baltimore to Washington DC and pretend to be ga ga over you if you give me the book. I will pay $100 for your signature on the book. (If you notice, I am using Pig’s logic for this event. Pretty funny, isn’t it?) Sincerely, Darrell (who thinks your strip is the greatest since Calvin and Hobbes!)

  4. Are you ever going to travel to Asia? We have all kinds of alcohol here.. Btw, why aren’t all your books on e-book format? We don’t have much storage space in Singapore you know.

  5. You know, if you come to Philadelphia at the end of September, any security issues will have already been addressed.

  6. Siloam Springs, Arkansas (90 minutes due east of Tulsa) is a place pig would love.
    BTW, today’s “sunny and share” was priceless. My “guess what? Watterson wrote me back!” Moment was when you wrote me back a few years ago for appreciating your puns. Love the strip!

  7. Here’s some gin (look in the brown paper bag) –

    It Was Coarse, of Course

    For most, the Drawing Class
    Was one long gin-fueled blast.
    But one student’s art was totally crass;
    Still, by the skin of his teeth, Pastis Passed.

    p.s. I hope that by next Friday, you’ll be able to let bygones be bygones.

    Foye Lowe, Baton Rouge

  8. COME TO ST PETERSBURGH! FL WHERE THE BIRDS WILL SHIT ON YOU AND THE STEAMY RAIN WILL CLEANSE YOU.

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