I separate all of humanity into people that I know I’ll like and those I won’t.
And I have an ironclad way of predicting that.
I don’t like anyone whose name can be a verb.
Bob. Chuck. Drew. Grant. Pat. Rob. Sue. Wade.
All bad people.
And it doesn’t necessarily have to be spelled the same as a verb. It just has to sound the same.
Take that, Phil, Mary and Barry.
This is in contrast to the noun folk. You can always trust the noun folk.
Johns. Joys. Eves. Always great.
Then there are the occasional ones who are oh-so-very-close to being a noun. Better yet, a risque noun.
You’ve got to love a Dido.
But the ones you have to avoid are the ones that could be both noun and verb.
Like Bill or Mark or Hope or Rose.
To me, they’re being sneaky. Trying to be all things to all people.
So when you see one of them coming, cross the street.
Now I know this all runs counter to that old “What’s in a name?” adage by William Shakespeare.
But what did he know?
He was a Bill.