All The World’s a Stage

Seeing your daughter’s 4th grade music recital is not quite like watching an Andrew Lloyd Webber play on Broadway.

For one thing, it’s in a school gymnasium.  With a very small stage.

So small, in fact, that it couldn’t fit the kids that were performing.  So instead, they all sat in chairs on the gym floor in front of the stage.

Making matters worse, there weren’t enough seats for the parents who wanted to attend.  Which meant that I had to stand in the far back of the room.

That’s when a few enterprising parents noticed there were some empty chairs up on the stage itself.  So they sat there.

On the stage.

It looked like this:


It created an odd effect, because that is how a play or opera would be staged.  The performers on the stage, the orchestra down below.

Only these “performers” were just sitting there.

Still, you couldn’t help stare at them because they were on stage.

And that is when my favorite moment occurred.

The most prominent guy on the stage started doing this.

And the best part of all was that sometimes he texted while holding the smartphone down at his side.

As though he was hiding it.

As though he wasn’t on stage in front of 600 people.

Beat that, Andrew Lloyd Webber.

34 thoughts on “All The World’s a Stage

  1. What the heck is wrong with people? I can hardly believe that one of the people started texting.

    Sounds like a surreal evening.

  2. ..well it WAS an elementary school music event. If I had to endure one of those, I’d whip out my iphone (if I had one) and start playing on the net.

  3. Is it any wonder that some children lack decent manners with the example set by parents sadly lacking decent manners?

  4. Ha, I get it, it’s ironic because he was trying not to draw attention to himself while choosing the seat that draws the maximum possible attention to himself. And that’s funny.

  5. I want to be a HelliKitty on his wall when/if he reads your blog. Too funny!

  6. At least he was quiet. As an elementary band teacher, I run one of these events twice a year, and the audience is so noisy that unless you’re sitting in one of the front rows, you can’t actually hear the kids play :/

  7. Probably the same kind of guy who would blow his cigarette smoke away from you…in a car with the windows closed.

  8. He was obviously spreading the word of how much better the play was than anything andrew lloyd webber has done.

  9. Who knew elementary school productions could be so neo-postmodern. How brave of their artistic director to take something like a elementary school production and turn it into something bold and provocative like that.

  10. How did you NOT laugh all the way thru the recital? The neighbors are looking at me weird enough just for laughing so hard at the story, let alone being there.

  11. I teach 5th and 6th grade orchestra. We perform twice year. I’ve seen (and heard) everything including parents coming up on stage while we’re playing to try to get the perfect photo. We teach the kids concert etiquette and beg them to go home and enlighten their parents. Maybe I should link this blog entry to my web site!

  12. I was busy when the blog post came & I asked my husband to read it to me, part way through he called me over so I could look at the picture. Before I did, I asked “Is it Stephan smoking a cig and drinking a beer on stage?”

  13. Some of the rudest audiences I have ever been in have been at school productions. More often than not, parents would talk among themselves until their little darling was up on stage performing, at which point they would become quiet and attentive. Once the child finished, they returned to their loud conversations, dissing the performances of the other parents’ kids.

    Fortunately, my kids were out of K-12 before cell phones and text messaging became ubiquitous. I can’t imagine how bad it must be now.

  14. I’m sorry, what’s this post about? I was busy downloading por, I mean checking my stock portfolio.
    Posted with my pre-paid blackberry knock off.

  15. How long did it take you to draw all the “kids performing” ? Looks like the band is overrun with brass. As is the enterprising guy on the stage.

  16. Wow. Talking about off-the-moment geurilla theater… It would only be better if it could be confirmed that he was ‘sexting’

  17. Hey, give the guy a break.

    I’m sure he’s an important Doctor giving vital, life-saving advice to a fellow brain surgeon.

    Or perhaps he works for NASA’s ground-control and serious problem came up with the Space Station that he needed to resolve before they ran out of oxygen.

    It’s just as likely that he was a key cabinet adviser to President Obama and he had just come up with the crucial piece of insight needed to resolve some delicate situation in the Middle East.

    The point is that this person is clearly a very important person and it’s remarkable that he’s even been able to take the time out of his schedule to see his daughter’s play at all.

    Show a little respect for your betters!

  18. talk about showing no class. did the guy really think that he would be if not watched by the other parents watching their kids perform that surely the sound of his device proably had people notice not to mention he was on stage.

  19. Lol! Wow. Some people are really…lacking something. Even if it is minorly entertaining to others, it’s still annoying.

    I can relate to this, actually.

    A couple months ago I went to a rather casual concert by one of my favorite singers, Josh Groban. It was only around 1000 seats and sold out within 20 minutes (considering his 20,000 seat concert in the same city sold out in a few hours, that says a lot).

    Anyway, towards the end of the show he chose a bunch of people from the audience to go up on stage and sit with him for a couple songs. I happened to be one of the lucky 10 or so people who got chosen. We all gathered around on the couches and floor to watch.

    Before going up, I intentionally left my camera behind on my seat. It just seemed somehow wrong to be sitting on stage, in front of around 1000 envious fans, and taking pictures of the guy from only a few feet away.

    Of course, as your story attests, I was probably the only person who had this logical reasoning ability. Within a minute or two of getting seated, a bunch of the lucky people around me were snapping pictures and video of him, even while he was talking to us. Considering the fact several of them were using phones and playing with them half of the time they were there, I’m betting there was a bunch of “OMG I AM ON STAGE!!!!!” texts going out at that moment.


    But yeah, a kids show is even worse. Although, it’s a shame you didn’t video tape that. It might have been a decent YouTube hit! 😉

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