It’s a Small World, Then I Pick Up Chalupas.

The drive-thru lane that wraps around my Taco Bell is narrow with high curbs on either side.

If you filled it with water and put multi-ethnic singing midgets along its sides, you’d have the “It’s A Small World” ride at Disneyland.

So that’s what I made it after pulling up to the pick-up window at Taco Bell yesterday.

I reversed the car all the way back to the intercom where I ordered and re-drove the fifty feet at a snail’s pace, singing the “It’s A Small World Theme” as I waved robotically down the entire length of the driveway.

This would have been okay except for the fact that my thirteen year-old son Tom was in the passenger’s seat trying to cover his face.

I guess he didn’t want to be seen by the angry Taco Bell employee I left holding our food in the pick-up window.

By the look on her face, I’m guessing it’s not every day that a customer in her drive-thru window puts his car in reverse and sings the “Small World” theme.

When I got back to the window, she asked me why I backed up.

“Well,” I said, “It’s a world of hopes, and a world of fears.”

She didn’t understand.  So I continued.

“There’s so much that we share, that it’s time we’re aware, it’s a small world after all.”

She still didn’t reply.  So I kept talking.

“It was my son’s idea.”

29 thoughts on “It’s a Small World, Then I Pick Up Chalupas.

  1. “It’s a small world after all, it’s a small world after all.”

    I was there at the 1964 World’s Fair in Queens when they first did that.

    Haven’t managed to get it out of my head since.

    Thanks for reminding me, butthole.🙂

  2. You and my husband must be the only two people I know who would do this. I hope your son does not grow up traumatized from this event………..maybe that explains our son….too much of being traumatized by his father. Very funny though to the rest of us.

  3. wonderful and crazy ! You made me laugh out loud at the BW3 while eating wings…now people are looking at ME….strange…..

  4. I admired your jarring transition from PC to un-PC with the term “multi-ethnic singing midgets!”

  5. Friend who had summer jobs at Disneyland told me that the management carefully watched the kids who worked in It’s A Small World as the song would drive some staffers catatonic.

  6. You have discovered the ultimate power for the parent of a teen-ager. You see, when kids are little, they have no shame, and manage to embarrass their parents without even thinking about it. By the time the reach their teens, though, we’ve become so calloused by repeated public humiliations that we can no longer be embarrassed at all. They, on the other hand, are just becoming aware of such things, and can be traumatized by the slightest indiscretion on our parts.

    You can make them do darn near anything during that time, with just the threat of acting goofy in front of their friends. It’s a wonderful life…

  7. You can provide a public service to all parents of teens, Stephan, by being a central posting ground for new and different ways we can embarrass them in public. They seem to think we have such a network already in place anyway.

  8. Then you turn to your son and say: “Don’t do what I do, do what I say”…well, that is what my father always told me.

  9. Hoomi said: “You can make them do darn near anything during that time, with just the threat of acting goofy in front of their friends. ”

    I don’t think Pastis is acting.

  10. Please pass on my sincere sympathies to your son. Also, I do know a good therapist — he’ll need one.

  11. Pingback: The Styrofoam Container With The Delicious Serving of Rotting Mystery Meat « Fountain Abbey

  12. Amusing, but not really laughable until the killer punch line.

    “It was my son’s idea.”

    I don’t know how many times that line [modded with “son” or “daughter” as appropriate] has saved a lame prank for me.

  13. I love It’s A Small World. Have you ridden it at Christmas when they do a Christmas version? Same puppets. Only Christmas music. I would not be overstating the matter to say it’s the awesomest thing in the world.

    PS: Next time you do the It’s A Small World thing at the Taco Bell drive-thru, you really should be in a convertible. For maximum impact.

  14. Your mind is a bit… twisted. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. Like how I can say my friend’s minds are twisted. The nicest way possible.

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