44 thoughts on “I’m Tapping My Heels Together Three Times and Going to Kansas (Well, Missouri actually)

  1. Just be your normal, likeable self and I’m sure everything will be just fine. Oh, wait – I forgot I was talking to you. Nope, that’s not such a good idea.

  2. It’s probably the hat. Try a different hat this time and I’m sure it’ll work out better.

  3. OK, here’s my multi million dollar idea I am giving away free of charge. (Of course, if you decide you would like to buy me off completely, feel free to make an obscenely huge monetary offer.)
    Many years ago there was a very successful sit com based on the work of cartoonist James Thurber called My World and Welcome To It. Many years later, another successful sitcom was based on the works and personality of Dave Barry called Dave’s World.
    Now I believe the time is ripe for a sitcom based on you and your strip. I would blend animation with live action for the sitcom having all the Pearls characters interacting with whatever story line is dreamed up week to week.
    What do you think? more importantly, who would you like to see playing you?

  4. @Rich – those sitcoms were hardly memorable. My World And Welcome To It only lasted 26 episodes. Dave’s World lasted four seasons, but never made it above #21 on the Nielsens. What might be good is a reality show where cameras just follow Stephan around for a few weeks, just to see what happens.

  5. Have you considered giving these guys a different version of your strip? Instead of Pig and Rat, the strip has pictures of Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson on them. You wouldn’t have to draw them because I understand that the U.S. Treasury department hands them out for free to some and for a small fee to others. In any case, I’ve heard that these greenish slips of paper make a lot of transactions go very smooth. Just sayin’ ….

  6. Why didnt that last one work? He’s an idiot. XP

    If I was a big wig, I’d totally promote diz. Awl zeeba naebuhs wulcom heea. *Takes down buffet sign*

  7. I have a simple step by step process for what you should do:

    1. Do crazy stuff in public for the heck of it

    2. Get it on video

    3. Put it online

    4. Instant comedy gold

    Trust me, I have seen more than enough proof that this WORKS.

  8. my company has been gracious enough to allow me to sit in the Kansas City airport for something like 5 hours total next week. If you happen to be there on Tuesday or Friday mid-morning, I would buy you beer(s) if you would sign an autograph and take a picture with me! 🙂

  9. Make your video closed captioned. It’d be a lot easier for deaf people like me to follow along what’s happening

  10. Uhmmmmm Don’t call them assholes is probably a start. Next you could be a bit nicer… I dunno, just a few suggestions.

  11. Are you sure you’re not flying to NH soon? The recent Rat faking a disability to park in a handicapped space sounds like you’ve been here recently. There was an article in the paper about a decade ago about that very topic and it turned out NH led the nation in the most “Handicapped” drivers and something like two thirds weren’t even handicapped. They just got some injury they could recover from and convinced the doctor to fill out the paper work so they could get a permanent handicapped plate.

  12. In my newspaper today, I read that we could vote on a new strip because Cathy Guisewite RETIRES NEXT MONTH. Do you know anything about this? And did you possibly have something to do with it?

  13. “Maybe you didn’t say it here, but you thought it here. And you felt it here.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  14. I’d drive through town and chuck plush Rat and Pig dolls out the window at unsuspecting folks walking down the street. Make sure you have that music from Apocalypse Now cranked on the stereo – forget that PR bullish*t, just have fun scaring the h*ll out of people!

  15. Man, I wish there was a rival in Georgia!
    I would PAY to see that!

    … I think you’re on to something.

  16. I think I see your problem:  A rival is one of two or more striving to reach or obtain something that only one can possess (they can’t possess Pearls). Jealousy is an emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over the loss of something that the person values. Jealousy often consists of a combination of emotions such as anger, sadness, and disgust (as their faces show).  This whole issue can be easily resolved by them coming up with a shit pot full of money so that they can possess Pearls. Then the emotions of anger, sadness, and disgust will only be a sad distant memory and Stephan can achieve his lifelong dream of having the beer delivery truck stop at his house daily.

  17. Well, Stephan, at least you figured out that downtown Kansas City is in Missouri, not Kansas. That puts you ahead of most folks. Isn’t it good to know that you excel at something?

  18. oh man, funniest 8 minutes in my entire 34 years alive! you are such a nut lol big kudos to John Glynn!

  19. Profanity is always so hysterically funny. Why even bother with regular words? Then it will be just “Bleep?” “Bleep bleep bleepin’ bleep!” etc.

  20. It’s like watching Michael Moore’s younger idiot brother. But you made me laugh out loud (oh, sorry: LOL) and for that I thank you. PBS is, in my opinion, right up there with Calvin & Hobbes.

  21. Mr Pastis,
    For the last couple of days i have been angered by the vulgar words you have forced me to place in the blank spaces of your cartoon. I find this highly objectional and offensive so I must cancel the subscription to my newspaper. Thanks for making me so self aware you adjective noun.

  22. A bit hewavy on the #%*& !$@& #^$%%# but that was sooo funny! he was really angry! And while you’re in Kansas, why don’t you drop in on northfield ohio?

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