Just A Question I Can’t Get Out Of My Head

If you had to (A) spend the rest of your life on a desert island with all the supplies you’d ever need but absolutely no other people around, or  (B) keep your life as you have it now but carry an emperor penguin under each arm forevermore, which would you choose?

68 thoughts on “Just A Question I Can’t Get Out Of My Head

  1. I have a feeling after the initial novelty wears off, having two penguins under my arms will lead people to avoid me. So basically, each scenario is the same, so I might as well take the island for the view and free food.

  2. I’m leaning towards option C pending further clarification on options A & B.

    With A, do I get to bring my cats or can I at least have some kind of animal of my choosing to keep me entertained, like a lemur or monkey perhaps?

    With B, is it a stuffed emperor penguin that makes penguin-y noises when squeezed (so that I could at least entertain myself) or is it a live one that I will have to worry about urinating or crapping on me?

    You ask the most difficult, soul-searching of questions!!

  3. Can you please submit this question to Scott Aukerman for use on Comedy Death Ray Radio? It would be amazing.

    Of you don’t know it’s a podcast. They play “Would You Rather” on every episode. It’s great. Check it out

  4. I agree with Jennifer: I need more details! Will I be constantly cleaning up after these penguins (and cleaning up after them WHILE they’re still under my arms? Annoying!)…

    I know this is sappy, but I would have gone with A hands down if I wouldn’t miss my husband so much… although now I’m wondering does “supplies” include things like a computer (without internet, because otherwise it’s cheating, of course), books, and the ever-important toilet paper? Or is it just the general food water & fire? Because I’m not a “camping” kind of girl. : )

  5. Emperor Penguins are fairly large and I am fairly large so I could carry it off, with style. Shorter people would probably need another species. Hopefully nobody around me would start with the “March of the Penguins” Morgan Freeman narration crap as I’d slap them with arm pit scented Emperor Penguins!

  6. I have come up with the conclusion that you have no life when your daughter is at school.


    Please do all of your fans, including me, a favor. Get one. -____-

  7. Since an Emperor Penguin typically weighs 50 to 100 pounds, the second choice wouldn’t be a viable option for anyone but the most steroid-pumped body builders among us. At first glance, Option C is a cop-out, so one would THINK the choice is obvious; sweet solitude and lifelong security on a truly private island. Except for one little detail; if there is such thing as a DESERT island, I doubt anyone would want to spend the rest of his or her life on one. So, this appears to be a trick question, and the only sensible answer would be C.
    (However, if you changed the question to refer to a DESERTED island, I’m all for option A!)

  8. Can I choose ‘D’, stay on the desert island with all the supplies, AND two emperor penguins? At least it wouldn’t get lonely. On another note, and strangely enough, my younger brother asks me questions like this all the time, so I’m pretty used to them by now, and even though I voted that you’re brilliant to come up with it, you’re really not. More like just blessed with way too much free time to think up polls like this one.

  9. What have we learned from this?
    37% of people who read this blog are anti-social
    25% of people who read this blog have penguin compatible lives
    38% of people who read this blog are suck ups

  10. Ah, now that would depend, would these emperor penguins have the ability to talk? Or are they just ordinary penguins who make the usual penguin noises?

    Also this island in question, is it a tropical island with coconut trees?

    At a time like this, I think it best to ask “What would Rat do?” I think he would go with option A. I’ll do what Rat does.

  11. The title is the key to this one, in the nicest possible way, you are ‘out of your head’…..and while your ‘out’ say hi to all the others on the ‘island’ Brilliant!!

  12. I’m surprised not everyone is jumping on the second option. Imagine all the girls you could pick up if you had two Penguins constantly accompanying you. And the muscles you’d gain, and the fact that there’d be a freakin’ EMPEROR PENGUIN with you at all times to keep you entertained!

  13. Where’s D “Marvel at the fact that Rat finally made you snap and call for the anti-island anti-pengium intervention.”

  14. This is an easy perfectly understandable question for me. The penguins. Full stop. Although I’ve never hung out with Emperors, I have with their Blue cousins.

  15. I consider Emperor Penguins to be part of the category “essential supplies,” though I generally tuck the rockhoppers under my arms while I work, since I can’t reach the mouse while holding emperors. But, goodness, you need both, else what’s a heaven for?

  16. …Would you get to replace or drop the penguins once they died, or would I be stuck hauling around penguin corpses after a few years?

  17. Strange, because if I was on a desert island I would want emperor penguins under each arm. They would help me float in the ocean and help me locate fish for my meals.

    Can I choose all of the above?

  18. If you choose the penguins, do you get new ones when they die or do you have to carry rotting penguin corpses under your arms?

  19. “…on a desert island with all the supplies you’d ever need but absolutely no other people around…?”

    Dude, that’s my definition of Nirvana!

    But, there would be lots and lots of hamsters, right?

  20. I’ve always liked that Twilight episode where the guy with coke bottle glasses was the only survivor of a nuclear holocaust with all the books that he would ever want to read. Too bad his glasses broke.

  21. I’m fairly certain I would get lonely after a year or so on the island. So I’m going with 2, although buying penguin food for these guys is almost enough to make me reconsider. I’m not sure I could afford it. How about living on the island, with a 1 week break every other year during which I’ll carry the penguins around? Perfect.

  22. The answers reflect:
    Pearls readership,
    and – more important –
    the character of 3 of the characters:
    1) alone, comfortable and blissful away from stupid people: RAT;
    2) going through life stoically, dealing with nuisances: Zebra (the penguins, although more charming/endearing than the crocs DO represent additional “crosses to bear” in life;
    3) adoring everyone and everything out of a kind and appreciative (and naive) heart: PIG.

  23. “Whee-ee whee-ee [click] chirp… wheeee (A)… whu-eeee, flap flap chirp chirp!”

  24. ROFL at the poll, and ROFLMAO at most of the responses. Stephan, you’re a pied piper with a merry group skipping along in your wake. What a day maker!!

  25. Option C, with a disclaimer: My response may have been different a few months ago.

    I have been unemployed for 10 mo. (self employed = 0 unemployment benefits) and in I June re-enrolled in college to increase my chances of re-employment. My two teenage sons that have also been unemployed this summer, i.e. at home, restless, bored. As I type this I feel the need to kick their adolescent butts out of the nest while they have all the answers to life’s challenges. (he, he, that is the evil side of me)

    At this moment the deserted island sounds like my version of paradise. However, it occurred to me I would have no way to log on to the Pearls blog and receive the daily comics. After all, I am an adult, and understand the difference between need and want and or enhancement of existence. So, without my daily dose of absurdity, humor, and mocking the stupidity of others I would choose my two vultures over your penguins. They will probably get tired of me very soon in my ‘forevermore’.

  26. Emperor penguins look heavy, also they bite. I hate other people anyway.

    I just wish I could take the penguins to the island.

  27. “Penguins shit constantly, in a pink, fishy spray.”

    That’s the best part. You can squeeze’em like bagpipes.

  28. After much deliberation, I chose option B. I figured I could get my arms amputated, with the penguins still attached, and then get fitted with some really cool robot arms to replace the ones holding the penguin. Hopefully it would not cost an arm and a leg to do that procedure.

  29. This is the sort of question that would give Rat an excuse to bring out the ol’ baseball bat.

  30. I would get reallllyyyy strong if I carried the penguins. And the beginning, when I’m super weak and i have to carry them, is not an issue because according to the question, you HAVE to carry them around for the rest of your life so there is obviously an unknown force (I’m guessing Chuck Norris) at work in place of my arm muscles. Also the penguins are cute so it’d be a great chick magnet. And I would no longer have a need to buy any more pillows. Just sleep on penguins.

  31. So far as I’m concerned, with have an option A, B or C and I’ll tell you pretty much anything you want to hear to keep myself from being stuck on a deserted Island and having to carry two penguins under my arms.

    However… deserted Island would have internet now that I think about it, and since that’s how I communicate with most people nowadays, it wouldn’t be that bad.

    But that would mean no snow.

    so option C pretty much wins.

  32. I love penguins but carrying two of them around for the rest of my life sounds like a punishment fit for Sisyphus and not a good time.

  33. As much as I would love Option A, inevitably my in-laws would show up and spoil everything. I choose Option B for this reason: The penguins will attract seals,the seals will attract Killer Whales and the Killer Whales will be my ticket to finally ridding myself of afformentioned in-laws.

  34. Spend the rest of my life on a desert island with all the supplies I’d ever need but absolutely no other people around

    You’re kidding? I’d pay YOU for this.

  35. Well, option A, obviously, assuming that “all the supplies I’d ever need” includes everything I want, not just enough food, clothing, and shelter.

    But I’m surprised nobody’s asked the obvious question about option B. Are these live emperor penguins or dead ones? If live ones, then it’s not just the weight that would be a problem, they’d constantly be fighting you trying to get free. If dead ones, they would get lighter as they decayed, but they’d be really disgusting. Maybe new dead ones each day, but if enough people had to do this, then all the emperor penguins would be killed off supplying them.

    Yes, this is an old thread. I read the comic every day, but only remember this blog now and then. I’ve just been catching up.

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