The Best Lecture Ever

I’m on the plane from San Francisco to Newark and the flight attendant is giving the whole back of the plane a lecture.

Some man has put his bag in the overhead bin incorrectly and she doesn’t like it.

“Whose bag is this??” she asks.

No one answers.

“Whose bag is this??” she asks louder.

“It’s mine,” a guy in the back mumbles.

“This is not how you put your bag in the overhead compartment,” she says.

“Sorry,” he says.

But she’s not done with her lesson.

“What you’ve done is put your bag in the small space between the bag that’s already in there and the compartment door. So it’s hanging right on the edge of the compartment.”

He says nothing.

“So if the bags move around mid-flight and someone opens the compartment door, your heavy bag is going to hurt someone because it is going to fall right on this poor gentleman’s head,” she says, holding the bag above the man sitting in the aisle seat.

Only she didn’t quite say the word “head.”

Because right in the middle of her saying the phrase “this poor gentleman’s head,” she dropped the bag.

Right on the poor gentleman’s head.

The man grabbed his head with both hands and started rubbing the top of his head. Proving that when it came to the falling of that heavy bag, she was at least right about one thing.

It would hurt.

35 thoughts on “The Best Lecture Ever

  1. Sounds to me like the “poor gentleman” now has a pretty nice lawsuit against the airline.

  2. She did it on purpose. She had it out for the man below the bin right from the start…and seized her opportunity!

  3. BEST lecture EVER? Those are some pretty steep criteria. I don’t think this constitutes “ever.”

    I propose you should re-title your post: “Best Lecture About Luggage On an Airplane with Ensuing Irony.”

  4. I hang out with a group that claims that everything we do or see is the “best ever.” Applying that criteria, I would have to agree that the flight attendant’s spiel was the best lecture ever. With luck,the one you get on the return trip will also be the best ever.”

  5. Scheez. I said I was sorry. But now I’m not as sorry as that flight attendant.

  6. That has got to be the best thing I think I have ever heard. Lol. I really hope that happens to me on my way to Cali in the next couple of days. xD

  7. I used to fly a lot and one time a flight attendant must have recognized me and assumed I was a Federal Air Marshall. She said, ‘The guy in 13D is acting weird.” I quickly checked to make make sure I was not in 13D (15C was where I was parked). I went back to the galley and asked what 13D was doing and explain that as a sales engineer for a database clustering software vendor, I probably not going to do much for the guy unless he had a database that needed to be clustered. She sent me back to my seat and I worried for two hours about the guy in 13D until we landed and got off t he plane. I never found out of the guy needed a clustered database either!

  8. You didn’t hand him your card? We know what you are, we have yet to determine price.

  9. Of course she probably forgot to mention all the blankets and pillows she and the rest of the flight attendants stuck in there. Which you’re not allowed to remove yourself but which they won’t remove for you either. Takes up a lot of room and then they can’t understand why there’s not enough room for carry on luggage.

  10. A good lecture:
    * …is delivered with energy and enthusiasm by the speaker (check)
    * …tells a story (check)
    * …Has a point (check)
    * …may include some kind of prop to illustrate the story (check)
    * …includes a demonstration of the action being described (check)

    Yep, sounds like a pretty well executed lecture to me.

  11. Stephan, Some of your blog posts, to telephone solicitors and the like, have given me new life. Where I sat for so long and get angry, now I engage. For instance, today with my broadband company just a little while ago:

    Customer Service: Hi Mr. *%&#)$. How are you today.

    Me: Well, actually I am unhappy and somewhat depressed. Would you like to hear more?

    She didn’t of course. Maybe one days these people will realize this type of engagement doesn’t really do anything.

    On another note, Kudos for your strip today and pushing the edge, with Rat in his Civil War reenactment (Confederate) listening to “Straight Out of Compton.” Dude, that is out there. (I had to look up the lyrics, I’m not at all into rap). I guess you will piss a lot of people off. Anyway, your willing to stick your feet into quicksand is one of the many reasons I am a fan.

    Cheers,
    Dick
    Beaumont, TX

  12. Strangely enough, it’s the flight attendant with whom I sympathize the most….

  13. Maybe Rat should join my sister and her SCA buddies. While others in SCA may show an interest in being as accurate to the Middle Ages as possible, she and her group could care less. They pretty much use it just as an excuse to get together and shoot the breeze.

  14. You are a cheapskate aren’t u?
    All that earnings n your are travelling COACH?!

  15. Yep, Rat should definately join my sister and her friends. And sadly so should Guard Duck (I can’t believe he didn’t steal a Gatling Gun and use it instead!).

  16. Potus? Interesting choice of name, considering the only use of POTUS is as an acronym. Wonder if this one was hired by the crocs considering his idea of keeping the peace.

  17. So I’ve thought about it and honestly I think I would have a little talk to that woman. I would either say one of two things.

    #1- “Hunny they didn’t teach me how to store bags when I was in security today. I must have missed that lesson.”

    #2- “Isn’t that your job? And let me stress the ‘your job’ part. Because I’m not paying $400 to $500 for you to… do nothing…”

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