I’m Working Out More, and It’s Getting People’s Attention

I’ve been working out a lot lately.

And I don’t want to brag, but people around me are noticing.

I say that because I just got this email:

Hi theratandpig@aol.com,

Someone horny is waiting for you:

http://indigonavy.com/4xz0xtoocmjh4-a

-You must be 18 years of age or older to see who is waiting for you!



Making this even stranger, I think my new physique is particularly attractive
to Asian women.

I say that because shortly after getting that last email, I got this:

Dear theratandpig@aol.com,

Lonely Asian Women are waiting to meet you:
http://stirbeam.com/–u4dvgubeekmzq

Search thousands of Asian women profiles:
http://stirbeam.com/bmotiiba-x8ffeq



While I feel bad that so many Asian women are lonely, I’m married and can’t do anything about it.

I did, however, reply to their email.

Dear Lonely Asian Women,

I am so sorry to hear about your predicament. And I appreciate your appeal to me. I’ve been working out a lot lately, and it feels good to have someone else notice it. Unfortunately, I’m married.

P.S. Exactly how many of you are there?


43 thoughts on “I’m Working Out More, and It’s Getting People’s Attention

  1. That just made my day. My friend’s always getting messages from Lonely Russian Women (“Royal face, royal manner”) and now I think that they and the Lonely Asian Women should have a pow-wow. You should have asked what kind of Asian.

  2. Bahahhaaa! I never work out, yet the same people seem to call on me. I must be better looking than I thought.πŸ˜€

  3. I think your spam filter is disabled >_>

    Regardless, I laughed. Also, I’m not slightly tempted to start replying to my spam emails…….

    ….Too bad I’m afraid to open most of them >_<

  4. LOL! um I hope your inbox doesnt get flooded with that stuff now.. they sometimes sell your email to other people just to be jack asses… um so good luck with that..

    PS.. could you do me a huge favor.. that will actually probably help you too.. You should do a spoof on LOST.. everyones pissed about the ending.. it would be a sure guarantee to get a lot of viewers… I think.. I’d frame it probably!! LOLπŸ™‚

    You brighten my day with your crazy antics!! Thanks! I am so glad I am getting updates on this blog… I dont want to miss any of it. hysterical!! and so freakiing true too!! πŸ™‚

    Take Care!

  5. Hmmmm… I wonder how they got your email (cough >>pervert<<cough)

  6. Dear theratandpig@aol.com
    Thank you for your kind words about _____ women who do ______ to ______. Unfortunately, due to the overwhelming popularity of these women you specified, They cannot respond to each of your hot emails personally. But rest assured, your support of future specified hot encounters is noted and your email address has been added to our hot list so that you can receive hot updates. Thanks again, theratandpig@aol.com, for your continued support.”

  7. While I did not die laughing at this, i may have to go to the doctor for minor injuries.

  8. It seems like we’ve both been visited with good luck online. You have women who want to meet you, and I just found out that I won $25 million in a sweepstakes that was so secret I didn’t even know I entered it!

    I think I’ll donate it to a charity for lonely Asian women.

  9. And here I thought me and these Asian women had something special.

  10. seriously LMAO…….i think only Mr. Pastis could write something like that to spam mails !!! you rock Stephan, Period.

  11. “Unfortunately, I’m married” ???

    Not a clever phrase to post on your blog. Or is this the mantra your wife used to help get through your infamous honeymoon? On the other hand … “P.S. Exactly how many of you are there?” … I do like your sense of adventure!

  12. Maybe your hairsylist tried to communicate this to you. What a waste of a ‘shirtless’ opportunity.

  13. stephan, you sure do know how to make people smile when they’ve been having a rough day.but i’d watch out for those lonely/asian chicks..they usually have viruses..rofl

  14. According to one of my folders marked “spam” (which is weird, I don’t remember creating that one or moving mail into it), I’m a young male named Kathie, and several people keep offering me jobs where I don’t have to work very much, want to date me or send me promiscuous photos of themselves, and they know about my small, um, well…

    Cool. I just checked and a couple of guys in foreign countries want to send me free money!

  15. I got the same type mail. Women looking for their male soul mate, sometime a sugar daddy. Since I am a woman I just laughed at those mails.
    My friend said she will E-mail them back and said he is a Nigerean business man looking a someone to help him out tranfer a million dollar and send he her bank account #.

  16. I’ve gotten the same type of emails too. I’ve also won MILLIONS of dollars, I just have to give my bank account information to them so they can get the money to me. I haven’t gotten back to them on that yet. (must make note to get it done)

  17. I actually just got one that said she was someone who had gotten notification of monies left to her by a nigerian prince, but never got her money. So she went over there & pursued the issue & finally (after much effort) found the right people to talk to & figured out the right paperwork she needed to collect her millions. She was kindly offering to assist me thru the maze of confusion so that I could claim my millions as well…. I thought that was pretty clever, but alas, I ‘accidentally’ hit DELETE instead of reply so I guess I’ll never get my monies….. darn!

  18. I actually just got one that said she was someone who had gotten notification of monies left to her by a nigerian prince, but never got her money. So she went over there & pursued the issue & finally (after much effort) found the right people to talk to & figured out the right paperwork she needed to collect her millions. She was kindly offering to assist me thru the maze of confusion so that I could claim my millions as well…. I thought that was pretty clever, but alas, I ‘accidentally’ hit DELETE instead of reply so I guess I’ll never get my monies….. darn!
    +1

  19. You are the ONLY person who can truly make me laugh out loud while I’m sitting at work. Thanks for that!

  20. Oh lordy, my sides hurt! As if you weren’t funny enough, your fans are right up there running beside you. What a day brightener!!

  21. …so the gaps in your blog-posting can be chalked up to your fending-off hordes of Asian women?

    “Yeah, that’s it!”πŸ™‚

  22. I just caught up on all the posts of yours that I haven’t read and lol’ed at each one.

  23. that was really funny when he said that the lonley asian women was married and she was not really married and she couldnt help but walk away…………i couldnt help but laugh me and my friends cj ahmad, terrence,me and tavoris,dat and asia i got more friends to oh and kamya and jamarcus how about all my friends!!:)
    too raw dont hate$$$>

  24. it is really funny when they are puzzled…………wen they are countined
    cc 2 raw$$$>

  25. I’m wondering how they (the asian women) know that you have been working out….especially if they are actually in Asia? What do they have a spy satellite watching you? and they see you are getting so buff?

    Just wondering,

    Trisho

  26. And you thought your Mark Tatuli video-off wouldn’t lead to anything useful.

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