On Tables That Move and Maturity That Stays Stagnant

I’m at a restaurant in Florida with my friend Emilio when the whole table moves.  I look down.

It’s on wheels.  As are the chairs.  They all move back and forth together on a little track.

I ask the waitress, “Doesn’t this make people’s drinks fall over?”

“All the time,” she says, “I had one guy last week who knocked his drink over three times.”

I look at the stuff on our table to see if the items are at least plastic.  They’re not.  Both the salt and pepper shakers are glass.

“Once,” she says, “a couple had their entire table come off the track.  Lost all their food.”

I jerk my chair back and forth quickly to see if I can make the pepper fall.  It does.  I catch it before it hits the floor.

“So why does the restaurant do this?” I ask.

“I don’t know,” she says.

The waitress shakes her head in disbelief.  I shake my head also.  We are in solidarity on the issue of rolling restaurant tables.  We are smarter than the designers of this restaurant.  Smarter than the idiot patrons.

As she starts to walk away, I am still shaking my head.

As she recedes into the distance, I stop.

And shake the table instead.

Emilio’s drink falls on Emilio.

I know an opportunity when I see it.

11 thoughts on “On Tables That Move and Maturity That Stays Stagnant

  1. Ah, yes. You have to be a little crazy to be a Floridian. It’s part of the job description.

  2. Wow, makes me wish I knew any restaurants like that…..

    spaceman: Hmmm….then maybe I should move to Florida. I do have a cousin who lives there….

  3. It’s always more fun to spill someone else’s drink, that way you don’t have to sit in the wet spot… *snort*

  4. You are still in Miami???? I wouldn’t mind buying one of your art works for Haiti….would love it for myself but my brother would die for it!! You have to see our beach house in the Dom Rep with all your characters painted in our fence…it is something else…though you share the wall with tons of characters…yes it is a long wall..LOL

  5. Well you know the real reason they do that? I bet Emilio had to order another round. And pay for both. It’s a scam, put wheels on the tables so their more likely to cause stuff to tip over and spill all over the patrons, the table, the floor, what not and force them to pay even more to eat or drink there. Once the waiter or waitress puts it on your table it’s not her fault what you “do” to cause it to spill. If they spills it they don’t charge you (or at least they shouldn’t) for a second glass or plate of the same order. If you do, they can charge you for a second.

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