The New Pearls Book is in Stores! And Watch the Video to Find Out How to Win Your Very Own (Slightly Damaged) Copy

The newest Pearls collection, titled 50,000,000 Pearls Fans Can’t Be Wrong, just hit stores.  Or you can buy it HERE on Amazon.

And even if you hate the strip, you’ll still love the book, because it has many, many uses.

Just click HERE to see.

46 thoughts on “The New Pearls Book is in Stores! And Watch the Video to Find Out How to Win Your Very Own (Slightly Damaged) Copy

  1. LOL no f’n way… this cover is the funniest thing I’ve seen since the “Runaway” video. Pastis = ruleage. Jovi me!

  2. I’ve got a hundred reasons to get the autographed/burned/cheesy/wet/steppedOn book! =D

    Ill just tell u 3 reasons:
    1. I enjoy your comics, specially the guard duck

    2. I’m kinda starting to do my own comics, just click my website thingy in this comment (sorry if u don’t know any spanish at all, but who reads anyway, we all know u people only look at the pictures, hehe)

    3. because Im probably the only one willing to the the fire-proof-less/water-proof-less/sad-excuse-for-a-comic-book book, hahahaha

  3. I don’t have facebook, can I post it here? If so, I should have your book because you are the smartest, funniest, and awesomeist person I know. And it would make my year(and more!)to have a signed copy of you book, especially a damaged one!

  4. I’d like to have the book simply because I want to actually read the strip.

    Not only that, it will annoy my friends who think that it is stupid, especially when I quote old strips I read from three years ago, especially to people who admit they hate puns.

    I find annoying people, but only in jest, is fun and I could create a few jokes about why the book is damaged.

    Ex.: “Oh, the publisher couldn’t believe that the book made it past development, and this was the copy he given when it was first printed. The water stains are his tears.”

  5. I should have it because I live in a camper and I need something for the my 7 cats to poop on. No really. And my butt hurts. That’s why I should have it.

  6. Hmmmmm. May need to get me a new Pearls book. Is this just a collection or is it a treasury? I’m kinda partial to your treasuries.

  7. Ladies and Gentlemen! Meet the winner of The World’s Worst Bridegroom competition!

  8. You know I think that I could use that book for pest control. Just think of all of the flies that I could smash with a book that size!

  9. I have one question about your book,

    How much does it weigh?

    Is it light enough to throw a good distance at the religious people coming to my door but yet heavy enough to leave a bruise on them?

  10. I think you should send me the book because I have a medium-ish hole in my drywall I haven’t been able to fix yet. I think I could manage to hang the book right over that hole somehow and it’ll cover it up just fine!

  11. love this! i’ll get one today! did you base it off of the old elvis record? it looks good🙂

  12. I’m thinking I should have the book because… well because it would make my “friends” think less of me then they already do and maybe (hopefully) they’ll leave me alone with my… er… with what’s Left of my books.

  13. Ok, ok. I won’t let my cats poop on it until AFTER I have read it. Promise.

    Fair enough??

  14. I deserve that book because I fought to have Pearls Before Swine put back in the Cedar Rapids Gazette when the dumb editors decided to take it out. Without me, the people of the greater Cedar Rapids metro area would not have the pleausre of waking up to a new Pearls Before Swine every morning, and you wouldn’t have as many readers to make money off of.

  15. At least we know how the winning copy got “slightly damaged”. Uhhh, I’ll be patient and wait for the next treasury. Stephan, you are looking good with just the facial scruff. Does your family dig it, too? Hope you are still having fun analyzing the gators & crocs in FL. Post a pic if you see one with a beehive-style hairdo like Larry’s wife.

  16. So, the other day the amazing happened here – after 10 years of drought, it rained. Really rained. Noah style rain. And I got caught in it, without an umbrella or a coat. And I was wearing white. And I’m a woman. And I was walking into work. Yeah, you get the picture (and so did everyone else).
    Clearly, I need the book so I can have a waterproof hat to carry with me to guard against such future contingencies.

    Besides, my fiancee is in Afghanistan and now the military has taken away all his junk food and conveniences, he’s going crazy like the crocs. He really does deserve it, actually. If not for me, then do it for your country, Mr Pastis!😉

  17. You’ve shaved! Nice look. I deserve the book because I’m special. I’m a Boomer, and we’re ALL special. But since I’m the one mentioning it, I should have the beat-up book. It’s almost as beat-up as I am.

  18. I deserve a slightly damaged yet glorious Pearls book because I used to face Pearls books out all over the humor section of Barnes & Noble, and hide the Family Circus books. That was before I quit. So really it’s because I’m lazy and broke. And my pet rat, “Pig,” needs cage lining.

  19. If you give me your beat-up, unidentifiably stained book, I will be sure to use it at the next White House press conference and hold it up and shout to Pelosi and tell her she is responsibile for this insidious dumbing down of America! You will become famous and sell more copies than you ever imagined!

  20. I should have the book because I am a dumbass unemployed lawyer who doesn’t have the brains or creativity to make my own comic strip and become a gazillionaire. Plus, I think I’m Pig.

  21. well… I DO have a wobbly table. I’ve tried everything else, but your infomercial has me convinced the book could solve my problem.

    You could be the next Billy Mays – but you’ll need the facial hair back.

  22. Why do I need this book?
    I’ve been stuck with reading assignments like The Scarlet Letter and For Whom the Bell Tolls. I need better reading material–enlighten me!
    You’ll be doing your part in educating the youth of America :]

  23. I deserve this book because I have been a pearls fan ever since it entered my newspaper, and even wrote the Houston Chronicle to thank them for adding your strip. Plus, I am a very poor college student and having such a multi-purpose book would be handy! I could use it as a plate, try to exchange it for food, or even *gasp* read it! Love your strip, Stephan =]

  24. I already commented a perfect reason for me to get it on your facebook page. I’ll be waiting to recieve it in the mail any day now.

  25. I need the book to put under my right foot because when I was a little kid, my parents wanted to change my name to “Eileen”.

  26. To help everyone here, I have created the following form that you can just fill in the blanks and have a ready reason to own the book.

    I need the book because: (Check all that apply)
    A. I lean to one side.
    B. I’m out of cat box liners.
    C. It has lots of pictures. We here in (your state or city), like pictures. Words – bad; pictures – good. (burp)
    D. Two words – “Global Warming”.
    E. I took the Pepsi Challenge and lost.
    F. It’s for the children!
    G. My butt hurts.

  27. Ok I want the book for no other reason then I want IT. Is that Not In Itself a Extremely worthy cause??
    I mean I could make up some lame excuse like I have 15 different types of cancer or all my relatives have died, but Im not shallow like that.I need IT for the simple reason that I Want IT!!!
    Just picture how good it would make you feel? To Know that out there somewhere is a little girl Who Wanted It, and you Gave IT to her?!?!?!
    I mean wow!!
    Think it over. ^_^

  28. I deserve this book because I am a poor college student who wants to make money off of it after you are dead.

    Well, not so much the last part, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

  29. As I read over these comments, I laugh my head off because those who appreciate Stephan Pastis:
    1. Are truly intelligent and great people.
    2. Have a good sense of humor.
    But quite frankly, what WOULD be a legit reason to give one of us such a valuable item?

  30. Hey man, I checked my mail today and still no book. What gives? Oh like you’re going to try to use the excuse that mail doesn’t run on Sunday? Is that it? What a cop out, man!

  31. 2.all the uses it could be used in I (or my family) could use 3.your comic can help you think of ideas (this is the same person writing the comment above)

  32. This entire strip is the best laugh I have had in quite sometime. Love the Crocs, I sometimes welcome my own neighbors with the greeting: “Hello Zeba neighba..” Just a matter of time before they come get me with a butterfly net of course..but Rat wold bust me out of the hospital for a C Note I am sure…

  33. Gotta love a comic that takes its inspiration for covers from Dread Zepplin….

    Stephen, the Gary Bibb suit is just SO you…

  34. Please stop depicting yourself w/a cigarette in your mouth. Please don’t dismiss this. Think about it. Children see your comics. Smoking is not “cool”.

    I just witnessed my mom die a slow, painful death from lung cancer caused by smoking. Smoking is not cool!

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