It’s Organ Man’s World Now. We Just Live In It.

When I was a kid, there was a store in the mall that sold organs.

And whenever you walked by it, there was this cheesy guy in a tuxedo playing one of the organs.

Since his goal was to sell you the organ, he made sure to use every pre-set beat the organ provided:  disco, mambo, swing, etc.

The result was a cacophonous assault on anyone dumb enough to keep walking by the organ store, many of whom heaped their subtle scorn on organ man in the form of laughter.

When the organ store went out of business, everyone was happy.

Little did I know that thirty years later, the horrible sound that organ man used to make would stage a revival.  And it has a new name.

It’s called a ringtone.

You know the tone.  Every idiot you’ve ever seen in Starbucks with a cell volume set at “max” uses it.

It’s that upbeat bossa nova swing hip hop clangy thing that makes you want to pull your ears off.

And it’s always at the loudest volume possible, for it appears that the same “asshole” threshold you must pass to choose that ringtone also mandates that you alert everyone in Starbucks to your incoming call.

It is the revenge of organ man.

We never should have laughed at him.

37 thoughts on “It’s Organ Man’s World Now. We Just Live In It.

  1. I have always had my ringtone dogs barking. I get strange looks but I know it is mine.

  2. When are they going to design a cell phone that looks and sounds like Kirk’s communicator?? I can’t be the only geek who would want them. (My cell phone looks like the one Archer uses in ST:Enterprise, but it’s not the same–not least because HIS was intended to look like a cell phone!)

  3. I used to have a little Samsung cell phone that had the Star Trek communicator ring tone on it! It was great but it went off one time when I was wearing a red shirt and a stranger asked if he should hold onto my tricorder since it was obvious that I was about to die from some planet anomalies or space villain.

  4. Somehow, this just reminded me that I still need to get a new ringtone for my phone. I’m thinking something from “Dr Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” (if you haven’t seen it, look it up. It’s GOOD)

  5. That’s why my ring tone is a woman orgasming. Enjoyable for everyone of most ages.

  6. Most annoying ringtone – my old boss was slightly deaf and completely obnoxious. So, his ringtone was a continuous beeeeeeeep that would not stop until he answered. It was also set at the highest possible volume. It did of course go off at a meeting with several higher ranking personnel. He sat glaring at everyone else, mentally accusing them of having such an awful ringtone, until it dawned on him that it was actually his. And answered it.

  7. I don’t think I should be chuckling and smiling while reading this in a class on Human Rights Law.

  8. That Samsung phone sold after the first Matrix movie came out didn’t do so well… as big as Trek fandom is, I don’t think there’s enough demand to attract the manufacturers–they really prefer HUGE volumes. I’ve gotten by using the intercom whistle as a ringtone for a few important people.

    The true genius was the guy at Verizon who got “Never Gonna Give You Up” licensed as a ringback music choice. All my callers are now rickrolled…

  9. My phone just rings (though it’s a slightly off ring that came preinstalled on the phone). It also vibrates first before ringing. I can usually answer it before anyone hearing. I do set the volume on MAX all the time, though. Otherwise, I’d forget to set it to MAX when I leave it in the other room at home.

  10. I think that ringtones should deliver an electric shock to the holder of the phone that’s commensurate with the volume of the ring.

  11. That’s it! Man I didn’t even know it!

    I too used to laugh at the organ man!

    Did you ever try to touch one of those organs as a kid? That cheesy smile would disappear and evil organ man would appear and chase us off!

    Little did I know that organ man had magic powers to curse me later in life!

  12. My BlackBerry let’s me set a different ring tone for everybody in my address book, so I never know what it’s going to sound like. Keeps me on my toes. (And yes, one of them is that organ grinder thingy.)

  13. My uncle was the “guy in the organ store” for many years. I never realized how annoying it was to others, just kinda accepted it as part of life, like strange cell phone ring tones…

  14. I hate ring tones with a fiery passion.

    Well, cellphones in general, really. But they seem to be a necessary evil….

    Mine’s always on vibrate, at least.

  15. Now, that organ man is sitting at home, surrounded by the organs that he never sold…counting the cash he made selling the rights to those stupid melodies…and laughing. The joke’s on us!!

  16. I’m a librarian. Today someone in our library received a call with that very ringtone, at an ungodly volume. Ironic timing.

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  18. I know what you mean. At my work the public and even the employees (who shouldn’t be making or receiving personal calls) have their cell phones ringing. I love the co-workers taking calls all day long from family for no real emergency and then I have to listen to the Mexican Hat Dance go off several times a day with one of them.

  19. Ohmigawd you’re right. He does rule the world.
    May his spirit live on!

    … and then fade into hell, for the sake of humanity.

    I believe Rat has ragged on ringtones once or twice (the Für Elise Beetoven thing for sure). Oft-voiced complaint for you?

    Of course, the idiots who use these “ringtones” refuse to be beat down. I recommend tazers.

    It’s always polite to keep your cell on freaking vibrate. Especially at the organ store in the mall.

  20. Just when I didn’t think you were going to mention bassa nova, you did. Well played, sir. I totally remember the organ store. There must have been twenty organs in there, along with a few boring pianos. The organ store disappeared from my mall around the same time as the Orange Julius. I thought the Orange Julius chain when out of business, but I hear they still exist. No such luck for the organ store.

  21. My ringtone is just my daughter telling me to answer the phone. If it ever goes off at the store, parents everywhere start looking around for their child. Good times.

  22. No, tell me about this ringtone. I never set foot in a “Let’s ruin coffee and then make folks think what was good and proper coffee was actually bad and our terrible coffee is great so we can over charge them for it,” oh sorry, I mean Starbucks, on principle. There is no more coffee today, not even at home. It’s all this stuff pretending to use the name that doesn’t actually taste like coffee, or it comes from a second generation yuppie instant coffee machine like the Keurig. No real coffee anymore and it’s places like Starbucks that’s to blame.

    Yeah, I do remember the organ salesmen. That was back when there were actual music stores in malls. Every mall had a music store and then on like the opposite end there was a record store (at least every mall I went to back then). Not quite what music stores would be now where it’s CDs, cards to get MP3s online with, DVDs, etc. Back then the music stores sold instruments, mostly organs but also some guitars and drums, along with the music books. If you wanted to listen to music on record (very few records sold though) or tape you went to the record store to get your favorite group, artist, etc.

    I remember going by the music store with the organ man playing. Always encouraged you to come in, check out what it could do, try it out. Ah, but then the rub. YOU WEREN’T ALLOWED TO TRY ANY OTHER ORGAN OUT LEAST IT INTERFER WITH THE ONE HE WAS TRYING TO SELL! And even worse if you were a kid you couldn’t even touch ’em at all, much less look at them. And the organs were the only things anyone could try out, they always got so upset if you tried playing a guitar or, heaven forbid, drums. Got chased out of one store for even looking at a drum set (as I recall I’d also pissed the guy off for playing with another organ). Too bad for them I can now probably play better than they ever could (and I suck big time).

  23. On a similar note, I hate ringback tones. I work in a place where I make at least 200 confirmation calls a week and why do I have to be tourtured with people’s poor music choices while I wait for them to answer. It says “please enjoy the music while your party is reached” I can’t think of one time when I did so.

  24. I was just having a conversation with my husband a few days go about “The Organ Store” you would see in the malls. I mean, honestly, how many people walk into a mall and say “Gee, I could really use an annoying organ today. I want my house to be more like a church”.

    Evil ringtone? Mine is “Hells Bells” by AC/DC. It isn’t loud but it makes people genuflect in fear. When I answer it, I speak in tongues.

  25. Sorry, Stephan, but anyone who goes to Starbucks richly. deserves annoying ringtones, and worse.

  26. How do you feel about Lynn Johnston’s “new-runs” of her strip…effective marketing for easy money? or artist laziness (ala Jim Davis)…

    Why not re-run some old strips with “new” material incorporated, like a “director’s cut” movie…

  27. Agreed! A similar thing that annoys me to no end is when I’m riding the train in to work in the morning (particularly in the morning since it’s usually about 6:30am for me) and some jerk is listening to music on a device that has no headphones. The other day, a guy was allowing his young daughter to play every ring tone on his cell phone over and over and over again – at full volume. It was all I could do not to turn around and express my annoyance.

  28. I like my phone, you can record a voice message for each contact…I have a chicken clucking for Jody, a chicken crowing for Barb, a message saying it’s MARK, answer your phone for Mark and lastly for everyone else I recorded my own voice saying “The phone is ringing, would someone answer the damn phone…asshole !”…I like when an unknown calls when I’m sitting in a bar !!!!

  29. This was one of your more lame blog posts. Can you please redeem yourself with a new one so I don’t have to look at this one when I check your page. Thank you.

  30. when u said a store that sold organs, i thought u meant like a liver… ya, thats right

  31. Heheh. My ringtone is something along the lines of “I just wasted ten seconds of your life” in song form. 😮
    The person is usually wasting my time by calling me.

  32. I know whatcha mean! Let’s take their phones and shove them in their ears, get their numbers and hit REDIAL!…over and over and over…..

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