Mushing Mom’s Myths, One Pea at a Time

Most of my mom’s dinners involved peas and mashed potatoes.

And when the two mixed, I refused to eat them.

I did not like the mushy potatoes clinging to my peas and I did not like the surprise of a crunchy pea in my potatoes.

To which my mom always said the same thing:

“Eat it.  It all goes to the same place.”

Being four, I had no comeback.

Until now.

And that is this:

When we as a family all drove somewhere on vacation, we did not pick up homeless hitchhikers.

Even if we were all headed to the same place.

So take that, mom.

Thirty-eight years later.

30 thoughts on “Mushing Mom’s Myths, One Pea at a Time

  1. The time-traveler John Titor observed the same thing about his parents concerning picking up hitchhikers and helping the homeless. In his own words:

    “…Every now and then, we would pass someone who was in obvious distress with their vehicle. I was amazed that so many people could pass them by without stopping to help. [My parents’] explanation was fear. The risk of helping someone was too great and with today’s technology, they probably had a cell phone anyway. If they didn’t, the walk to a gas station would be good for them and teach them a lesson for running out of gas. The other example is the plight of the homeless. When you pass them as individuals on the street I see the way people selectively choose an alternate path to avoid them. Those two examples best define why time travelers do not show themselves. In trying to help you, we put ourselves at great risk and there’s really no point to it.”

    Mr. Pastis, the jig is up. You’re a time-traveler, and we all know it now.

  2. Say the family in the car is peas and the homeless hitchhiker is the potatoes. Just because the both are going the same way, doesn’t mean they have to go together.

  3. Nice comeback! I love it!

    For those who don’t seem to get it, let me explain. The retort is: “Why not pick up that hitchhiker? We’re going to the same place anyway.”

    Just as picking up a hitchhiker would be less comfortable for the trip there, so would the awful combination of peas and potatoes be less comfortable for the trip down your throat.

    I’m sorry if explaining the joke made it less funny.

  4. I’m sorry to all those people who just don’t get it. I bet they miss over have the jokes in Pearls for the same reason.

  5. I hate mushy green peas. Mushy peas and mashed potatoes – yuck. I feel your chilhood pain mate.

    By the way, I immediately understood the hitchhicker relation. Should I be scared?

  6. What a poor comeback. The hitchhikers only assume you’re going their way and vice versa. The peas and the mashed potatoes once ingested have only one way to go. Time to go back to the drawing board and come up with a real comeback. Something like “Sure, their all going the same way but how do I know you haven’t snuck some pills in with ’em?”

  7. Wow. I’m only a donkey, and even I got it. Did someone slip decaf into people’s coffeepots today?

  8. When my grandfather used the “it’s all going to the same place” argument I would tell him, “But I don’t taste them together in my stomach.”

  9. For those of you who don’t get it.

    Peas and mashed potatoes, two obviously different things, headed to the same spot. (Where does food go)

    Sorry for you to have to read anything mentioned above. Comical stuff though Pastis, another hearty laugh.🙂

  10. Wait, in your most recent book you said you were forty… Now you’re 42?

  11. Love it! No explaination needed for me.
    And the peas would always roll over to the potatoes which would then grab hold of them like velcro! Stephan, you captured my childhood with this one. We’re like two peas in a pod…with potatoes on the side!

  12. To take that analogy a bit further with actions, just take the plate of mashed potatoes and peas and dump it straight into the toilet. I mean, it’s all going to the same place, right? Jus’ sayin’!

  13. My father has to have peas with his mashed taters too. I just figured it was a Midwestern thing. Not to my liking though, but since I consider myself a SoCal girl.

  14. You had crunchy peas? I’m envious. We had mushy peas out of a can. And instant mashed potatoes. And no hitchhikers, either.

  15. I get it but it’s lame- I have no serious fears of the pea pulling a knife on me on it’s way down with the taters.

    (Look out for them dicey carrots though!)

  16. Love it! My Georgie was often admonished by his ya-ya, “but Georgie, it all comes out the same way…” It’s a Greek thing.

  17. Pingback: Random Dialogue of Today « The Mighty Squeaker

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