I Just Won a Gold Medal

So I’m watching the Olympics and I’m rooting for the U.S. four-man bobsled team to win the gold, mostly because no U.S. team has done it since 1948.  The U.S. bobsled, nicknamed “Night Train”, is driven by Steven Holcomb.  After three runs, the U.S. team was in first place with only one run to go.

Then I had a random thought.

I wonder if Steven Holcomb has a Facebook page.

So I look him up, and he does.

Then I have another random thought.

I should friend the guy.  He seems like a nice guy.   What the heck.

So I send him a friend request, thinking that maybe after the Olympics he might actually approve it and I can say I’m friends with an Olympic star.

Within a minute,  my Facebook page tells me the following:

“Steven Holcomb has approved your friend request.”

Now wait a minute, I think to myself.

Steven Holcomb is supposed to be preparing himself for the fourth and final run, trying to be the first American driver to win this thing in 62 years.

So then I think, okay, someone else is obviously taking care of his Facebook page.  So I check his page and lo and behold, there’s a posting from him just minutes old where he explains he is holding his Blackberry at that moment, because he likes to check his Facebook page between runs.  He says it relaxes him. 

So right in the middle of Steven Holcomb’s HISTORIC, once-every-62-years-athletic-achievement, Steven Holcomb took some time out to friend Stephan Pastis.

Now maybe I’m inferring too much from this, but I think it’s fair to assume that just before he friended me, he was probably saying to himself, “Well, I want to win this bobsled thing, and I’ve come this far, but do I really HAVE to win it?  After all, winning isn’t everything.”

But then AFTER he friended me, everything changed.  Because then he started thinking,”I CANNOT LET MY NEW FACEBOOK FRIEND STEPHAN PASTIS DOWN!”

And what happened?  He went out and clinched first place.

In other words, I won a gold medal.

Alright, fine….WE won a gold medal.

Hope there’s room on the medal stand.

45 thoughts on “I Just Won a Gold Medal

  1. Lindsey Vonn, Bode Miller, Apolo Anton Ohno, Lindsey Jacobellis, and countless others are wondering right now “Dammit Pastis, if you had friended me I would’ve been more motivated to win.”

  2. Thank you Stephan! I’m sure making friends with you at that crucial moment made all the difference. LOL. The U.S. owes you, big-time.

    I do find it funny that an Olympic athlete who I would expect to be completely focused on doing what it takes to win, is checking his facebook page at such a once in a lifetime moment! But clearly the strategy paid off this time, as the great Stephan Pastis befriended him and brought good fortune.

  3. Hey no fair with that spoiler – I’m actually watching the US bobsled team at this very moment on NBC! They must have tape-delayed it… *sigh*

  4. I read the post before the addition of the picture, and I must say that the picture helps affirm your part in history. I’m glad you helped America bring home the gold! Excellent job.

  5. I think you should friend the whole USA hockey team during the game on Sunday. Just to make sure, you know

  6. Did you try to post this earlier, because I got an email notifying me about a new post, but it was blank. So what’s up? Did you decide to change it or something or accidently post it before you finished it?

  7. Now you know how I all felt when Stephan Pastis became my Facebook friend. That’s right. I’m actual friends with a cartoonist. How cool is that?

  8. We were watching too, it was so exciting! I’m sure you were good luck for team USA. Thanks Stephan!

  9. Stephan, an Olympic Champion accepts your Friend request and all you have for him is “You’re the greatest!”? My God, you are a poet….

  10. thank you Stephan Pastis. thank you for your selfless, valiant, and noble efforts in helping to end 62 years of shame.

  11. You are an overacheiver. You have a popular comic strip AND a gold medal. You should be proud lol

  12. My daughter is on the University of Richmond field hockey team, and they really want to win their next season. Would you be willing to friend her and her team mates? They’re not famous Olympians YET, but you’d look REALLY good smiling away in their team picture after they win the championship! A rose among thorns, or a thorn among roses, or something like that….

  13. God damn, Pastis, you have out done yourself here. You sir, are one of the greatest thinkers of our time.

  14. You and a thousand others he friended just before the final run🙂 .

    On a different note, I bet Rat takes the job away from Pig and Walmotopia ends up regretting hiring him.

  15. From your picture, it looks like you won your own gold — your head! Seriously, are you that jaundiced??? Get a bilirubin light, man!

  16. Never mind Stephan, who’s the hunk in the red hat and what is the other guy holding?

  17. Yep, looking at today’s strip it really looks like Rat’s gonna steal the job from poor Pig. Maybe we’ll see the return of the Rat clones and Walmotopia will fire Rat and hire them in his place.

  18. Hey, funny thing, I just ran into Brian Shimer and Steve Mesler at a cafe down the street. Steve had his gold medal (heavier than you think) and I took some pictures. Sweet. BTW, I’m in Calgary, Alberta, Canada and live by the track.

  19. Now you know I felt when Stephan Pastis took the time to friend me on facebook. It was the proudest moment of my life.

  20. They named their bobsled “Night train”? That awesome because it is a Guns and Roses song about some really, really bad booze. Sweet!

  21. Stephan, remember–I warned you about the consequences of taking credit for this. The universe is now working on a way to even things out.

  22. you might want to change the photo to one that includes the current members of the four-man bobsled team. this must be a photo from one of Steve Holcomb’s earlier teams cause i don’t see Steve Mesler in it.

  23. Not to brag, but Canada won more gold medals.

    And NBC cancelled Saturday Night Live for the olympics😦.

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