Standing in line at Starbucks this morning, I started staring at the ceiling, wondering what would happen if the earth lost its gravitational pull.
Starbucks has all these floating wooden platforms that hang about a foot below the ceiling, attached by narrow metal rods. All I could think was that if we all floated up to them, some of the customers would get wedged between the platforms and the ceilings. Which would probably be the safest place to be, because everyone’s hot lattes would be pouring up and out of their cups.
That’s when the fat guy behind me tapped me on the shoulder.
“You gonna move forward?” he said.
I looked ahead of me. There was an eight-foot gap between me and the person in front of me in line.
“Sorry,” I said, knowing I should leave it at that. But I couldn’t.
“I was just thinking how dangerous this place would be if the earth lost its gravitational pull.”
The man said nothing.
I pointed to the wooden things hanging from the ceiling.
“We’d get wedged up there.”
The man just stared.
I was tempted to establish my credibility with him by telling him that way back in 2006, I picked the winner of the 2010 Super Bowl. But before I could say, “I predict the future,” the Starbucks employee asked if she could take my order.
So I gave her my order and waited for her to fill the cup. And the whole time I waited, the guy behind me kept staring at me. Like he had nothing better to do.
What a weirdo.