Buy this Pearls Drawing, Because I May Die Soon.

I have a gray, four-door Honda Accord.  It’s a nice car.  But it’s a boring car.  Except for one thing.

It goes 160 miles per hour.

How do I know that?

Because I looked at the speedometer. And that’s how high the numbers go.

Fine, I haven’t tried it yet.  But I plan to.

And I don’t want to hear your explanations for why a speedometer might go that high even if the car can’t go that fast.  If my speedometer goes to 160 mph, the car can go 160 mph.

It’s basically a Lamborghini hiding in the body of a four-door Honda sedan.

Speaking of hiding, no one can see my strip today on comics.com.  So here it is (just click on it to enlarge):

Speaking of strips, I’m often asked if I sell my strips.  I don’t.  But every year or so, I do sell the occasional drawing for charity.  (I’m not all evil.  Only 90 percent.)

So I’ve gone ahead and drawn a picture of the entire Pearls cast (well, eight of them anyways…my hand got tired after awhile), which I’m now auctioning on Ebay.  As of five minutes ago, it was yours for a mere $9, though I suspect that price may rise.  All the proceeds from the auction will go to the Red Cross Haiti Relief Fund.  To go to the auction, just click HERE.

And bid a lot.  Because if I die, that drawing’s gonna go up in value.   Oh sure, I’m young and it’s statistically improbable, but consider this:

I drive 160 miles per hour.

53 thoughts on “Buy this Pearls Drawing, Because I May Die Soon.

  1. Sorry to burst your bubble, but even police cars can’t get up to 160 mph. How do I know this? Because I’ve tried.

  2. Wow, it’s already up to $255. My boyfriend would love it for our anniversary, but I have no job at the moment.

    I wonder why the strip isn’t on the site. I get it in my paper (but not on Sundays, how can I rectify that?)

    Maybe the speedometer goes up that high because it’s Honda’s idea of a joke. “See, you could go that fast if you didn’t drive an Accord.” And then they’d laugh maniacally. I used to have a Geo Metro in high school. I buried the needle by going 80, it was pretty awesome.

  3. Stephan, what a great idea! Unfortunately, it’s already too much for my budget, but I hope it goes sky high (great song, by the way)!

  4. That’s so when you are going at full speed, downhill, with a Bugatti Veyron pushing you, in a vacuum, you know how fast you are going.

  5. I would have bid for it, but I don’t feel like spending (*checks*) $520 on it. Sorry.

  6. The best part about the drawing? Stephan includes himself in the list of “popular Pearls characters.” I would have replaced him with the killer whale, personally.

  7. WOW I would love this. Planned to bid but it is $520!!! Way out of my budget. Great news for the Red Cross.

  8. Well, I actually drove about 150 mph (245 km/h to be exact) here on a german highway, quite a few highways here have no speed limit. If the highway isn’t that full, 200 km/h are very handleable. But that was no Honda, it was a Volvo.

  9. Just wondering. Where you gonna drive this 160 mph? You’re in Southern California, aren’t you? Good luck with that.

  10. I have enough to buy it, but $585 is a lot, and I do not want to waste my money (no offense stephan) on a drawing. The comics in the news paper are enough for me

  11. My Honda Accord is white! I’m so honored, I have the same car. Bet mine’s older then yours though. And faster.

  12. You could probably drive 160 mph in So. Cal. down the 15 between Ontario and Devore on a early Sunday (around 3 AM) before the CHP catches up with you, beats you silly, arrests you and impounds your nifty Honda.

    No, I haven’t done it. But the evil me wants to.

  13. I just bid $1k (lifeisruff). I really appreciate this opportunity. I love giving. Our family gave $250k to Radys Childrens Hospital just last year! Thanks for doing this!!

  14. Reminds me of what the Dutch stand-up comedian Gabier Guzman said in one of his shows: Only men try to be cool by having cars with speedometers that go to 160mph. You never hear a woman telling you that it’s cool to have a washing machine that goes to one thousand degrees. 30, 40, 60,90, 1000 degrees.

  15. Very generous of you, but the auction price is now too high for me to bid on this. But if you ever auction off an old pair of sneakers, maybe I’ll jump in the fray.

  16. I say you should raise your expectations. I had an old Ford Escort that could only go up to 85 – or so the speedometer said! In actuality, it could go 90. Why shouldn’t you be able to go 165?

  17. Remembering that you have proven that you have the ability to predict the future… this post concerns me…

  18. Super awesome!! 760! Haven’t felt so good about helping people in need in such a long time. I never expect anything in return but this is awesome. If I can write it off even better! I really want it! Please stop outbidding me!!!!

  19. This is cool! Some of these comments were posted in the future. It’s 3:41 PM and there are comments posted at 6:05 PM. Amazing! Great posts, thanks. If you haven’t decided on your next book cover yet. How about Driving Miss Daisy with Goat and Rat. Great combination.

  20. I had an old ’88 Accord with a speedometer that went up to 135. I went way past that a few times on a lonely stretch of I-87 in the middle of the Adirondacks.

    Go fur’it dude….

  21. $760, wow!
    I got a doodled copy of Pearls Sells Out from Copperfield’s for my dad for his birthday and he was floored. Sorry Haiti but that was gift enough.
    Also, I work at a Barnes & Noble and whenever I’m cleaning up the humor section I always face Pearls books out. Get Fuzzy can get… nevermind.

  22. Mona, I haven’t outbid you. I bidded $1k yesterday early afternoon. Whenever someone bids it just puts my bid on top.

  23. Well, Mr. Pastis, as you’re going 160 mph, I’ll be watching you in my rear view mirror.

  24. I have a 1980 Austin Mini…the speedo goes to 90…I hit 75 and I feel like a Randy Johnson fastball…not sure what would happen if I could actually hit 90…probably end up like a crocodile extra!

  25. Make Re-pros of it, let the Masses be able to buy it at 20 dollars, and everyone is happy, and I bet alot more money will make it to the red cross.

  26. $1300 damn.

    I work at B&N too, and I always face Pearls books out. I also got my manager to order them so we have them all in.🙂 Now if you can just come down and sign some!

  27. Stephan: If i win one, can I fly out and have you sign it in person?

    Maybe go for a beer…

  28. Of COURSE your Honda can go that fast! I have absolutely no doubt!!! You’d just have to find a high enough cliff to drive it off of… I’m SURE the terminal velocity of a 4-door Honda is AT LEAST 160 mph…

    Now, if I just had an extra $1350 to bid on your awesome drawing. That drawing would make my life complete. Gee… I wonder how the Crew from “Pearls” would look on the tank of my R1200GS… as it was passing your Honda on the way down from the cliff, of course…

  29. Congrats Stephan!! $1200 was my max bid, but it’s up to $1300. They outbid me again…that’s OK. Maybe sometime in my life I’ll be lucky enough to have you sign (in person) one of my Pearl’s book. Come to Texas!!

  30. Had to have it. Got ugly at the end but it was worth it. Sorry Mona! Came in with 5 seconds left to win auction! Lifeisruff

  31. Congratulations on getting $2050 for the comic strip! If you really want to make some money….auction off another drawing with the cast, but one where you get the winner to send you a picture and you draw them into it too.

  32. um, i really think its ileagal to go 160 mph and ONLY A @#$@#$%#$% LAMBO CAN GO THAT FAST

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