I’ve been watching the NFL playoffs. Which means watching truck ads.
Why do all these trucks have to have tough, outdoorsy names?
It’s all so redundant. There’s the “Ranger”, the “Tundra”, the “Yukon”, the “Silverado”, and my favorite, the “Avalanche”. Because nothing says tough quite like a natural disaster. Then there’s the “Dodge Ram,” which the deep-voiced announcer says is “RAM TOUGH!”
If any of these companies really want their truck to stand out in a crowded marketplace, why don’t they call it the “Snuggler”, or the “Fluffer”, or if they really need to conjure up the outdoors, the “Fairy Utopia”?
What about just calling one “Barbra”? Or the “Dancing Queen”? Or the “Mani-Pedi”? Or, if we can use a verb, the “Let’s Dish.”
Or what about only naming trucks after Emily and Charlotte Bronte novels? Like the “Jane Eyre.” Or the “Wuthering Heights”?
Or better yet, what about just naming them after women’s sexual aids? We could have “The Tickler”, the “Magic Wand” and the “Aqua Rabbit”.
And if they want, they can still use the same announcer with the deep voice. With only slightly modified slogans.
“The Dodge Aqua Rabbit….It’s AQUA RABBIT TOUGH.”
I really should have been in marketing.