1) Please stop asking me about my Thanksgiving. I ate food.
2) Please don’t tell me about your Thanksgiving. It probably looked a lot like mine.
3) Please don’t smile and pat your stomach and tell me you ate too much. If you can’t stop shoving things in your mouth, that’s a personal issue.
4) No, I didn’t watch the football game. And no, I don’t want you to re-enact any of the plays.
5) While were at it, please never tell me about your weekend. We have weekends so can avoid each other. When you sum up yours, you defeat the purpose.
And in preparation for Christmas:
Please, no exchange of presents with co-workers. I’d sooner buy something for a pack of wolverines.