And Now A Word About Spaying and Neutering Your Pets

The car in front of me yesterday had a bumper sticker that said, “Spay and Neuter Your Pets.”

It made me mad.

Yeah, I know, it’s important and all, so don’t send me your complaints, but let me just say this.

Why do we let dogs and cats off the hook that easy?  Alright, fine, it’s a little tough on them physically to lose some of their pink parts.  But why is it taken for granted that their sexual instincts are so strong that that they can’t act in a morally responsible manner?

In other words, how about changing these bumper stickers to read:

“Hey, Dogs and Cats, Show Some Self-Control”

I mean, I have to.  And I’m an offshoot of the monkey family.

It’s just not fair.

And don’t suggest I get neutered.  Because (A) it would hurt; and (B) my wife already suggested it.

All I’m saying is I think we need a new approach.  And a public service campaign designed to reach the horniest dogs and cats of the world.  I already have the slogan around which we can center the campaign:

“Yo, Fido…Abstinence is cool.”



21 thoughts on “And Now A Word About Spaying and Neutering Your Pets

  1. Suggested that to our Golden early on. He then proceeded to hump my leg. So I guess that was a start, but we cut the goods off anyway, because, you know, it was MY leg he was humping…

    True story.

    Or not.

  2. Unfortunately, dogs and cats will probably show hardly any more self control than teens do after being exposed to that slogan.

  3. You know, we could do _half_ the work. In my limited experience, it takes two to tango.
    So, we _should_ change the sticker to:
    “Spay your pet and let the dudes run wild!”
    – or –
    “Neuter your pet and let the chicks run wild!”
    Why not!

  4. Stephan:

    “It’s just not fair.”

    Life is unfair.
    It’s unfair that life is unfair.
    It’s unfair that it’s unfair that life is unfair…

    Feel free to grab your notebook at any point.

  5. Myself, I’m more concerned about the “and” in “Spay and Neuter”. Are there really enough hermaphroditic pets in the world that we need bumper stickers for them?

  6. Well heck, abstinance worked so well for Sarah Palin’s daughter, so I’m sure it will work great for my pets too.

  7. There’s always the Lenna Bobbitt vasectomy, you won’t even see it coming. Or not..

  8. Put it to a vote….ask Pig & Rat!! (It would make for a great strip, but not sure how the general public would handle it! 🙂 I WOULD love to hear Rat’s take on it though!

    Pat in Antioch

  9. hermaphroditic pets… lol!
    and Kitty condoms…
    I could learn so much from this blog and commentators of said blog.

  10. even if they acted responsibly, they got no thumbs; making it very difficult to put on a condom.

  11. hahahahahahaha! I don’t think those kind of cool bumper stickers are out there because they would imply that people have to show abstinence, too. 🙂

  12. Stacie was right, sleep with one eye open Pastis…

    Remember, please neuter your pets, weird friends, and relatives.

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