Some people want to know who killed JFK.
I want to know why the standard cell phone message recording includes this line:
“When you’re finished recording, please hang up.”
If you’re at a point in your life when you don’t know to hang up the phone after you’re done with a phone call, you have bigger problems than your phone.
Who are these people that need that level of instruction? And how did they cope in the days before the warning?
I can only assume it was once like this:
“Hey, Bob, how you doing? Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t notice you were on the phone.”
“I’m not, really.”
“What are you doing?”
“Just leaving someone a message.”
“But you’re not saying anything.”
“I finished the message.”
“When did you finish?”
“Three days ago.”
I can only assume Bob went on to sue his cell phone company and win millions of dollars.
I assume he is also the reason my stove warns me that stoves can be hot and why my ladder warns me that falling can hurt.
I assume he is also the reason for my favorite of all warnings — the one on the back of the hotel room door that says to NOT panic in case of an emergency. I’ve always wondered who that helps.
“BOB! BOB! THE HOTEL IS ON FIRE!!! WHAT DO WE DO!!!”
“WE SHOULD F$%#ING PANIC IS WHAT WE SHOULD DO!!!”
“YOU’RE RIGHT. AUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!! WE’RE GONNA DIE!!!!”
“Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.”
“What is it, Bob?”
“Well, baby, you’re not gonna believe this, but I was just reading the back of the hotel room door here, and it says to ‘NOT panic.'”
“Not panic. Says here it’s not helpful.”
“Then what are we supposed to do?”
“We could use my cell to call someone for help. But….”
“But what, Bob??”
“That could take a few days.”