The Little Cricket is Lowering My Blood Pressure

Just cut off a guy while driving.

Didn’t mean to.  I just didn’t see him when I switched lanes.

So the guy revved his engine and pulled up alongside my car to presumably give me the finger.

But I didn’t see his angry face.  Or his angry finger.

All due to my new visualization technique.  Which is this.

Every time I anger another driver, I don’t look at him.

Instead, I imagine that he is Jiminy Cricket.

Singing “When You Wish Upon a Star.”

Then I don’t get mad.  Because it’s hard to be mad at a singing cricket.

This particular singing cricket let loose with a whole host of un-Jiminy-like profanities.

But that’s okay.  I didn’t hear them.

I heard:

“Anything your heart desires will come to youuuuuu.”

Good ol’ Jiminy.


22 thoughts on “The Little Cricket is Lowering My Blood Pressure

  1. Maybe I should try that next time. I can’t help but yell back and give it right back to them. I am seriously gonna get my ass kicked some day.

  2. Keep cutting people off and one of these days ol’ Jiminy is going to have a gun. You’re not gonna like what he’s singing then.

  3. That is the right way to deal with angry people, particularly when you are protected by 500 kg of steel.

  4. In a perfect world people with anger management issues would not be allowed to drive. And when will the strip get a bipolar squid character?

  5. My generation doesn’t know who Jiminy Cricket is. We’ll just have to imagine Spongebob singing the Campfire Song Song. ” Just gather ’round the campfire, and sing this song along. The C A M P F I R E S O N G song. If you don’t think that we can’t sing it faster than you’re wrong, but it’ll help if you just sing along…”

  6. As I read that blog, I think of the one before. I also think that I wouldn’t have a life if I didn’t read a blog by “the best comic strip writer ever who writes [in his blog] about being a rebel and singing crickets giving him the finger”. Then I ask myself if that statement is even true.

  7. Good for you. Usually if someone honks at me the absolute minute the light changes to green, I put the truck in park, go back and say “do I know you”. By then the light is red and they just cannot believe I did that and then they realize they have to sit through a red light. It’s funny – try it!

  8. Wait til the day Jiminy Cricket says “You know, I’m your concionsce, and you just screwed up…this time, you’re on your own, pally”…then BOOM, he slams the door to that happy room in your brain, locks it shut and swallows the key while jumping on a slow boat to China…

  9. We just upgraded the horn in our car to deal with people who don’t want to acknowledge there driving mistakes…

    And believe me, when it gets blasted in your direction the only thing you will be hearing in your head will be the sound of this horn. It is very, very hard to ignore.

  10. I don’t have a car – it’s a lot safer for the nation (and myself) if I don’t drive. So, I get around via public transportation, foot, and bike.

    I have dubbed my bike bell “the bell of doom” – because if you do not heed its call, then you shall get run over🙂

    Each time I ring my bell to warm pedestrians of my approach, I can’t help but think of Rat. That puts a smile on my face, even as I’m having to dodge the idiots – in which some are wearing ear buds and can’t hear the bell to save their life – and get through the day which much less stress.

    Instead of being a bike with just a run-of-the-mill bike bell, it is now an awesome bike with a vengeful bike bell. I can just picture Rat’s evil smile as I’m typing this comment.

    Not that I wound run anyone over or anything (although it would be the most awesome experiment ever).

    – Serenity (and, yes, that’s my real name!)

  11. I don’t have a car – it’s a lot safer for the nation (and myself) if I don’t drive. So, I get around via public transportation, foot, and bike.

    I have dubbed my bike bell “the bell of doom” – because if you do not heed its call, then you shall get run over🙂

    Each time I ring my bell to warn pedestrians of my approach, I can’t help but think of Rat. That puts a smile on my face, even as I’m having to dodge the idiots – in which some are wearing ear buds and can’t hear the bell to save their life – and get through the day with much less stress.

    Instead of being a bike with just a run-of-the-mill bike bell, it is now an awesome bike with a vengeful bike bell. I can just picture Rat’s evil smile as I’m typing this comment.

    Not that I wound run anyone over or anything (although it would be the most awesome experiment ever).

    – Serenity (and, yes, that’s my real name!)

  12. Hey Mr Squid, my experience is the person leaning on the horn is generally right and the person being honked at is generally too ignorant to know what they did wrong…

    Oh and I always imagine my horn is a laser destruction weapon that obliterates all traces of the other driver. Or one of those huge tank cannons. There are other weapons in my arsenal of imaginary horn weapons. Really depends on my mood.

  13. I disagree. I see a lot of horn use along the roads around here, and it is usually someone tailgating or weaving in and out of lanes, who are leaning on the horn. In general my experience has been that people who use their horns a lot tend to be trying to compensate for a general lack of driving skill, or manners.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s