The Secret of a Long Marriage

Saw a sweet-looking old married couple in the grocery store.  Both of them looked to be in their eighties.

Every time I see couple that old, I stop and stare, amazed that two people can stay together that long.  I’m always curious as to their secret of marriage longevity, and wonder whether it would help in my marriage with Staci.  In this particular case, I could hear them talking.

“Should we get milk?” asked the old man.

“We have milk,” she said.

“More milk,” he said.

“We don’t live in the woods,” she said, “We can come back and get milk whenever we want.”

“Shut your mouth,” he replied, “Shut your mouth.”

I’ll have to try that line on Staci.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

8/29 UPDATE:

Experiment not going well.

29 thoughts on “The Secret of a Long Marriage

  1. How do you know how long they’ve been together? Or whether they’re even married? I’ll admit they don’t sound like newlyweds, but there are a lot of widows and widowers that hook up over at the senior center. Then, because their social security will be cut if they tie the knot, they live in sin. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  2. Let us know which room number at the hospital we can send cards and flowers. I’ve only been married 21 years, and I can tell you this: My wife didn’t get that heavy, steel cane just to help her walk.

  3. My ex-boyfriend used that line on me one time.

    He went home that night with a black eye and without a girlfriend.

  4. Make sure to have the video camera running when you try it. That should be even more fun to watch than your reception at Universal Press Syndicate.

  5. “Staying In Your Unhappy Marriage… A Guide by Two Old Grouchy People”

  6. Right after I read this, I had to go to my Grandparent’s house to help my dad with some cement, and wouldn’t ya know it, THEY were arguing, too! In the middle of one argument they actually kissed.

  7. I didn’t know you had a blog until I found it on Wikipedia!

    Just so you know, your comic strip is the reason I pick up the Washington Post Express every morning before I board the metro.

    P.S. I like the pig a lot. He is my favorite character.

  8. You have a death wish….you silly, silly, man! Men are so “cute” when they try such hair-brained stunts!

  9. Are you using milk like the old couple – maybe you need to try a different food or beverage. Like waffles, or beer.

  10. I imagine you telling your wife you’re gonna write this post the night before, and laughing uncontrollably.
    She must have said something to the effect of ‘meh’.

  11. there is a couple like that at the store i go to like that only they argue about what movie to buy

  12. I came across a couple that had to be in their 90’s at a supermarket parking lot in Green Valley (old valley) Arizona. As he was loading their car with the groceries he started screaming at her (because they were both hard of hearing) “whaddya trying to do, kill me?!!” he was holding the cupcakes she’d bought.
    I almost fell over laughing.

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