Your Maintenance Light Is On

The maintenance light on my Honda Accord went on this morning.  It says, “B12.”

I looked up what “B12” means in my owner’s manual.  It says I have to get my tires rotated.

So each of my tires has to get moved to a new place on my car.  My front left tire will go to the back right.  My front right to the back left.

I’m thinking we should do this with relatives.

You will get mine.  I will get yours.

All the same rationales for tire rotation apply to relatives.

For example, tire rotation is necessary because some tires are forced to carrier heavier loads than others.  So are some families.

Tire rotation is necessary because otherwise the extra stress can cause your tire to fail prematurely.  So can some relatives.

This will even everything out.

Those of us who have beset by relatives that are big pains in the ass will be temporarily relieved.  Those of you with okay families will learn to appreciate what you had.

We will all wear evenly.

Hope you like my cousin Josh.

31 thoughts on “Your Maintenance Light Is On

  1. Josh can’t be any worse than the wife of my brother-in-law. She’s a depressed alcholic. She’s a real hoot at holiday get-togethers. She’s on a bus to your house right now.

  2. I’ve heard what you’ve said about your relatives. You couldn’t pay me to take in this, “Cousin Josh”. Ha!

  3. This sounds like a good idea for a strip. Keep rotating in different characters from different strips…might be entertaining!!!!

  4. Is Josh the guy you send various competitions and mailings to? Then I believe I’ll pass…

  5. As interesting as the idea sounds, I would not wish my family on anyone. The put the “fun” in dysfunctiontial.

    On the maternal side, loony hillbilly-rednecks that enjoy drinking beer,hog hunting and alligator wrestling. On the paternal, rich socialite snobs that are under the impression that they are MUCH better than you.

    On second thought….

  6. Fine, just fine. *grins wickedly* i’ll take your cousin josh but you have to take my mom’s side of the family. BWAHAHAHAHA!!! *ahem* have fun

  7. No effing thanks… I already have to deal with the in-laws and let me tell you; these insular, judgmental, snippy and passive aggressive mealy-mouthed hypocrites invoke the deepest levels of homicidal tendencies in me. Hell, my family, mostly selfish, borderline, evil jerks are at least honest and forthright about being impossible–and will tell you they can’t stand you to your face instead of with a smile so saccharine they give you cavities with a side of judgment. I’d rather hate AND appreciate what I’ve already got and leave the High Maintenance folks to my husband.

  8. In a just world, being the creator of the best comic strip in the newspaper would be sufficiently lucrative as to allow owning a car more expensive than a Honda Accord.

  9. Can we trade 2 fers? Like I’ll give you 2 of mine fer 1 of yers? I’ve got lots of relatives I’d be willing to give you so you’d appreciate Cousin Josh. Of course, adult diapers will be included for convenience and a list of foods that can be gummed. How I miss those old feeding tube days when it was easier to feed Grandpa Jim. 😉

  10. I like how you don’t think that your Cousin Josh is saying the same thing about you…’Anyone, anyone, anyone want Cousin Stephan’. In fact I bet you got this idea from him…

  11. Well, I’m in. It’ll be fun to visit a new place and torture someone different for a while.

  12. You can have my sister-in-law…..haven’t seen her in 15 years… let me know how she is…If she doesn’t show up (her M.O.) – then I’ll send you my cousin Linda….old, mean, burnt out, CRAZY….and will scare children at Halloween!

  13. Relatives. People who society demands we be kind to. Always remember the great wars in Europe were always between relatives.

  14. Haha, speaking of relatives and tire-rotating, my grandma recently couldn’t start her car; she cranked it and all the lights came on but nothing worked. She tried it a few more times and finally got it working and drove to the nearest Mercedez place to get it checked out. She told them that she had recently gotten the tires rotated, because she got a promotional email from the dealer she bought it from. Then she learned that on that particular car the tires weren’t supposed to be rotated, so she has to have them unrotated. Oh, and the reason why her car didn’t start? She didn’t turn the key all the way. 😛

  15. I’ll take your family if you’ll take mine. I guarantee I’m getting the better end of the deal.

  16. A strange thing happened as I started to beg for you to take my mother. I asked how your relatives could be worse, and realized they could be. And that I’m not going to take that chance.

    You’ve made me appreciate my mother. Wow.

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