New-age types believe in energy fields known as “spiritual vortexes.” They believe one exists in Sedona, Arizona.
They believe that in Sedona, this energy flows free.
I don’t know if they’re right. I don’t know if there really are spiritual vortexes. But I know this.
Last night, I took my kids to an ice cream shop. It was next door to a video rental store. Both places are part of big chains, but I won’t give their names, due to the next sentence.
It was a stupid people vortex.
A fake-blonde with bad tattoos texted like she was solving the crisis in Darfur. Two obese people made out like they were in an ice-cream-themed motel room. A slob in a tank top sneezed all over his arm.
And a pale white guy took four minutes to decide on the right topping.
No need to hurry. There were only 26 people in line behind him.
And then there was the coup de grace.
An Asian couple blocked the front door with their bikes.
There was at least a hundred feet on either side of the storefront for them to put their bikes. A fair amount of space for two bikes. They chose the space in front of the door.
They never noticed me and the other six people trying to get out of the store. But eventually they wanted to get in. And with their bikes there, they couldn’t. So they moved them.
Otherwise, I’d be writing this from an ice cream store. Trapped and fighting with the stranded obese people for the last remaining tubs of ice cream.
But these are the risks you take.
When the stupid flows free.