For the love of books

Because I am a kind and generous man (and because I was getting lunch next door to there), I just stopped in my local Copperfields bookstore in Santa Rosa and signed more Pearls books.  By request, I tried to draw some with Pig and Snuffles in them (as opposed to my usual Rat).   There aren’t a ton of them, so if you want one, you’ll probably need to call soon.  707-578-8938.

elly-books

A Contemplation of All That is Dwarfish

I have been in a philosophical mood of late.  Thinking a lot of deep thoughts.

Foremost among these thoughts has been which of the Seven Dwarves I’d most like to be stuck on a desert island with.

Easiest to cross off the list is Sneezy.  All repetitive noises drive me insane.  After an hour of that bearded weirdo sneezing, I’d be forced to kill him.

Next is Sleepy, with a qualifier.  I am assuming based upon his age, fatness and general poor health, Sleepy is also Snorey.  That falls under the heading of repetitive noise.   Nightie night to Sleepy.

Happy is an absolute no-go.  The last thing I want to see when I get up in the morning is a perky dwarf.  I’d kill him faster than Sneezy.

Doc is tempting, due to his smarts.  But he is also the fattest of the bunch.  And I fear he’d devise clever ways to steal my food.  So nix Doc.

Dopey’s sweetness and stupidity is an intriguing combo.  I could exploit that to steal his food.  He also doesn’t talk, which is a double bonus.  But he smiles a lot, and that alone makes him intolerable.

Grumpy is great on an abstract, philosophical level.  Like me, he hates people, so he won’t be perky in the morning.  But I fear this island is only big enough for one misanthrope, so he’s got to go.

That leaves me with my pick:  Bashful.  Given that he is overly self-conscious, I will make fun of him on Day One.  I will point out his overly-effeminate eyes and stupid dwarfish garb, wholly inappropriate for island life.  He will be so mortified that he will flee to the other side of the island and hide under a bush, where he will most likely remain until eaten by natives.

These are the thoughts on my mind.

Pearls Before Swine Flu

So yesterday, I’m in my crowded gym, waiting for a free space on one of the treadmills.  On the TV overhead is CNN and they’re showing a story on the swine flu.

Out of nowhere, I get a tickle in my throat.  And  I cough.

People on the treadmill turn back and stare. One gets off her treadmill and walks away.  Quickly.

I take her treadmill.

It is at that moment that I realize that this swine flu paranoia has its upside.

I will  try this in the Safeway line.