I Amuse Only Myself

Yesterday, I did our weekly grocery shopping.

As the Safeway clerk handed me my receipt, she asked, “Would like to contribute money for breast cancer?”

I said, “No.  I’m against breast cancer.”

She just stared.

I think my humor is lost on Safeway grocery clerks.

36 thoughts on “I Amuse Only Myself

  1. She probobly thought you were saying you were against supporting breast cancer, but still. You have the humor that you actually need to think a little.

  2. you should do your Safeway shopping after midnight like I do. much more twisted group there then. (i bet they prob’ly all read ‘pearls’.)

  3. Heh! Sometimes I think it’s the fault of the person trying to be sarcastic. For example, last friday night I was at the Bombay Airport and the whole checkin system was down.
    Me to the pretty checkin lady : Why don’t you just start writing seat number on a piece of paper and sign it?
    Pretty Checkin Lady : Sir, we can’t really do that, that is not recognized by the security…
    Me : Sorry , I was just joking.

  4. Ah, I’ve always wanted to do something like that, but I’m worried that some overly-sensitive person will get in a tizzy. Still, I give you credit for taking the plunge, Meester Pasties.

  5. thats funny i would have been laughing if i heard someone say that. some people just don’t understand humor

  6. That is hilarious, and it reminds me of when I was in college many years ago at a Big 10 school… I was on my way to a biology lab and realized I needed to restock on razor blades in my dissection kit. So I stopped off the on-campus bookstore, found the biology section and much to surprise found only 1 razor blade left on the shelf. Well needing it for class I grabbed it and headed to the checkout where the clerk gave me an odd look as that was all I had put on the counter. She rang it up, it came to a whole 10 cents, asked me if there was anything else I needed to which I replayed no this will take care of all my problems as I handed her a quarter and told her to keep the change… the look on her face as I left with my purchase was priceless.

  7. Sheesh! Thanks a lot Stephan… now I have to go find a paper towel to get the Diet Coke off my computer monitor…

    LOL!

  8. Sounds like another opportunity to fill out a comment card. Collecting money for cancer…don’t we have enough doctors that do that?

  9. some poeple are so set in the predictable ,mundan plodding of their little lives..that when someone stirs it up ,just a tiny ,tiny bit with something witty and off the norm..they short circuit and have no response, or stare blankly and or angrily at you…
    I gave up doing that a while ago…I got tired of
    trying to explain myself…………sigh
    I count on Stephan now to make it up for the rest of us..
    hee hee

  10. Say Pastis, are you sure you’re not related to John Cleese, (of Monty Python fame). That sounds exactly like something he would have said also. His movie “How to completely annoy people” is a priceless gem of a movie!

  11. Hahaha. I love it. I say this all the time. One of my friends from high school asked me if I wanted to donate money to support AIDS in Africa. I responded the same way and for about a week all of the ditzy cheerleader-types that were there were mad at me…there must have been one almighty a-ha moment when they all realized what had been said. Actually, it had to have been explained to them.

  12. Wish we shopped at the same Safeway … I make the cashiers in there duck behind their counters when they see me looking for a line to stand in … we could really cause some trouble … you night shift, me day shift! 🙂

  13. I work in a Safeway, and people always have some witty comment to make in response to my donation questions. I would probably have smiled amused, but it does get annoying after a while. They’re not always funny.

  14. Whoa. She has no sense of humor. Or maybe she just didn’t understand the joke. I’m thinking the latter.
    P.S. I learned the word “latter” from your strip, as well as “apocolypse”, “impunity”, “pompous”, “plebeian”, “inanity”, “anomynity”, “malcontent”, and a lot of others. You write a very educational comic strip, Pastis.

  15. It’s the mind numbing work conditions. I was a store clerk zombie in college, and every spring we were expected to get these donations raised.

  16. I get the same look when people tell me to “Have a nice day” and I say “You’re not the boss of me”.

  17. After I read what you said I used the same line at our Safeway for Easter Seals…..this guy got it and laughed…even the guy behind me laughed. At least I made a couple people laugh that day!

  18. Try asking this: After holding back the 4 pack of toilette paper to the end of your order, ask “Do you think I got enough toilet paper for the amount of food I bought?”

  19. I’ve also responded to similar solicitations like that. Semantics are usually the root of a good yarn.

  20. That sounds *exactly* like the kind of joke my dad would make, and he’s always making cracks like that all the time too.

    Like someone else has stated, you should turn this incident into comic form sometime.

  21. This is like the time my wife and I went out to dinner on a cold night and the waiter asked us how cold it was outside, on a scale of 1 to 10. I had to tell him a scale already existed to measure the temperature, named Fahrenheit.

  22. leave the clerks alone. They’re just trying to
    make a living. They’re tired. AF

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