Lock Up Your Valuables — I’m Coming To Your Town (UPDATED)

The Timmy Failure/Pearls tour is just around the corner!  Including my first trips ever to the states of Indiana, Michigan, and Florida.

See dates and locations below!

Saturday, 3/1/14, 2 p.m. – Andersons Bookshop, 123 West Jefferson, Naperville, IL 60540

Sunday, 3/2/14, 2 p.m. – Indianapolis Central Library, 40 E St Clair St, Indianapolis, IN  with Kids Ink Bookstore

Thursday, 3/6/14, 7 p.m. – Nicola’s Bookstore, 2513 Jackson Ave Ann Arbor, MI 48103

Saturday, 3/15/14, 2:45 p.m. – Southwest Florida Reading Festival, Harborside Event Center & Centennial Park, Fort Myers River District, Fort Myers, FL

Sunday, 3/16/14, 2 p.m. – Books & Books, 265 Aragon Ave., Coral Gables, FL

So come on out and meet me, and see if I’m as annoying as you’d assume.  And bring beer (although I’m not supposed to tell you that, because my kids book publisher gets mad when I do).  So hush hush on the beer.

And wear clothes.


Stephan “Soon to be Sleeping on Your Couch” Pastis


Dilbert Creator Scott Adams and Me Go Head-to-Head, and It Does Not End Well for One of Us

As some of you might know, I owe my whole career to Dilbert creator Scott Adams, who way back in 2000 told all of his fans to go read Pearls.  It was at that point that Pearls took off.

So when Scott called a few weeks ago and asked if I’d film a video with him, I jumped at the chance.  I got to spend the entire day at his house filming, and afterwards, I drank every bottle of vodka he had.  So it was a win-win for me.  Plus, I got to say, “F#ck you, Scott” in the video.

Behold, the result of that fine day:


Ohio! California! And I Know, I Know, I Don’t Blog Enough

All apologies for my lack of blogging.  The time I used to have for it has been eaten up by my writing of the Timmy Failure book series, which is now in its 23rd week on the NY Times bestsellers list and extended bestsellers list (alright, a little boastful, but I’m giddy).

The other thing that has been taking up all my time is the constant travel, as I now tour for Timmy and Pearls about four weeks a year.

But the good news is that I will hopefully be coming to your town soon (or perhaps that’s the bad news).  So look to this space, where I’ll be posting a whole bunch of 2014 tour dates soon.

Along those lines, I have two final appearance dates in 2013.

The first is here in Northern California!  I’ll be appearing in my hometown of Santa Rosa, California, at Santa Rosa High School (1235 Mendocino Ave.) on Wednesday, November 6, at 7 pm.  The event is free, and I will be signing books after.  The audience will be invited to ask embarrassing questions.  And that’s an opportunity you can’t pass up.

AND, I will be appearing at Ohio State in Columbus, Ohio, on Saturday, November 16 at 2 pm.  If you want to go to that event, tickets go on sale HERE tomorrow (Nov. 1) at 10 am EST.  So if you live in Ohio and want to go, you need to call right at 10 am tomorrow, because there are very few tickets still available.  (I’m sorry!)

Clothing required for all events.



stephan pastis copy

Ooooooooklahoma, Where The Stephan Comes Signing All His Books

I am making my first trip ever to Oklahoma, where I’ll be speaking and signing books along with Diary of a Wimpy Kid creator Jeff Kinney, Captain Underpants creator Dav Pilkey, and Big Nate creator Lincoln Peirce.  All proceeds will benefit the libraries damaged in the May, 2013 tornadoes.

I’ll be in Tulsa on September 27, and Norman on September 28!

For more info, click HERE.




California Dreaming: More Timmy/Pearls Tour Dates

Just got a list of more Timmy/Pearls tour dates.

The good news:  I may be coming to your town!

The bad news:  Only if that town is in California!

timmy and total (with rat and pig) at beach copy copy

Hey, it’s only fair.  Because for reasons unknown, I have shorted my own home state when it comes to touring.

But no more.

So behold!  Four more Timmy tour dates for San Diego, Los Angeles, San Jose, and Petaluma (and yes, they will be selling Pearls books at each stop as well, which I will also be signing!):


Wednesday, April 17,  7:00 pm

Warwick’s, 7812 Girard Avenue, La Jolla, California


Saturday, April 20, 11:00 am

Los Angeles Times Book Festival, University of Southern California campus


Sunday, April 21, 2:00 pm

Hicklebee’s Bookstore, 1378 Lincoln Ave., San Jose, California


Friday, May 3, 7:00 pm

Copperfield’s Books, 140 Kentucky Street, Petaluma, California


And if I haven’t yet come to your town, don’t lose faith.  Because there are more Timmy and Pearls tours to come! (And I only get more attractive with age.)