I Will Save The World

In the 1990’s, I was a lawyer at a firm in San Francisco.  On Halloween, we had a special “costume day” lunch in the conference room where everyone dressed up.

One person wore a Scottish kilt.  Someone wore funny plastic teeth.  A woman wore a witch hat.

But while everyone chatted politely in our 16th floor conference room, a man in a child’s Power Ranger costume was running circles around the building.

For those of you who don’t remember the skin-tight suits that were the Power Rangers, here is a reminder:

power-rangers_turboranger1

Because the costume was designed to be tight on a 12-year-old, it was extra tight on a 30-year-old.  And it didn’t have a helmet, which meant that the man’s head was exposed for all to see.

But that didn’t stop him.

Neither did the annoyed San Francisco businessmen in the city’s financial district, who stared with disdain.

But even those who tolerated this visual nuisance were pushed beyond their limit when the man began yelling his superhero credo:

“I WILL SAVE THE WORLD!  I WILL SAVE THE WORLD!”

Three times the man circled the building, and three times he yelled his credo.

I would say that the man was embarrassed by the spectacle he created that day, but I know that he was not.

I know because he was me.

Me enjoying costume day.

The last one the firm would ever have.

67 thoughts on “I Will Save The World

  1. which ranger were you?

    (and, yes, it matters. well, really, as long as you were any ranger other than the pink ranger…)

  2. Now I don’t think I would want to view a 30 year old man wearing a 12 year old skin tight costume but I would of loved the fact that a “professional” was still in touch with his inner child. Who is having the last laugh now?

  3. Now every day is costume day, right? Your wife and family’s learned to overlook it as a mere “eccentricity” and your neighbors have learned to overlook your excited cries of “I will save the mail!” Does make the trips to Starbucks more fun, though.

  4. Just when I thought I would wither away while writing about retirement communities, a colleague sent this over. Thank goodness I wasn’t drinking coffee…the last line would have been a coffee-out-the-nose moment.

  5. And so you did. Save the world I mean. A daily smile saves the day!

  6. I was actually wondering how you knew he was 30…. But anyways, thanks for sharing. I also wonder which color you were…. I admire your courage, and I am sure that everyone else secretly wished they were you….

  7. Yes, YES! You are officially my hero.

    I hope you still have the costume and throw it on once in a while for a casual stroll.

  8. Stephan, you MUST be a long lost relative… there is no way anyone can be that big of a freak and NOT be related to my family some way.

    That is the FUNNIEST thing I’ve ever heard. If I were standing in the conference room looking out the window, I’d be laughing so hard at the sight, I might have peed a little bit in my pants.

    Go! Go! Power Rangaaaaars!!!

  9. LMAO!!!! You are insane. I think you’d fit in perfectly where I work. Let me send the padded van for you.

  10. Thank you for that. I needed a good hearty laugh. You can come run around my building in a superhero costume ANY DAY YOU WANT. I instituted a Halloween tradition at my job 9 years ago, and each year I dress up. I have yet to run around announcing I will save the world, but I was a super hero of sorts this past year. This year I vow to be a full sized garden gnome.

  11. (… um that was supposed to be a smiley face but it turned into a horrified businessman in the financial district’s face)

  12. Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangerererers!!! Ok, here is why I don’t participate in any costume days here at work. Let’s say you dress up in something totally ridiculous but you still have to do your work, right? Let’s say you make some huge work blunder and are called into your boss’ office to get yelled at and there you are, standing in your stupid costume. Wait, maybe that would make it all worthwhile!

  13. Normally I would comment on the hilariousocity that is typical of your posts, but I got something else on my mind today:

    WHERE IS GUARD DUCK???

    We haven’t seen our beloved ‘Waterfowler’ since his mighty return in April (and not counting Rat’s ‘hallucination’ of him a few Sundays earlier).

  14. You are a very interesting person. I’m starting to wonder what it would take to embarass you.

  15. Congradulations in annoying everyone!

    I made my own Mighty Morphin red power ranger costume for a con and instantly became the friend and/or idol of everyone I met (including 40 year old women and little children). It’s all in the uniform, never mind who is behind it.

  16. For shame, Pastis!

    It’s “1990s”, not “1990’s” unless it happened in 1990. /rant on behalf of a history prof

    As for the costume, You go, dude!

  17. That is so freaking hilarious and reminds me of my freshman year at a Big-10 school. It was Halloween and we had been told that a bunch of under privileged kids were going to be trick-or-treating thru the dorms so it was recommend that we have some candy on hand to hand out when they came through ours at around 8:30ish. Well 8:30 came and went then a couple of hours later we found out that they chose to skip our dorm as they were running out of time and had to get the kiddies home. Well my roommates and I decided that we could exploit this situation to our advantage so we grabbed our pillowcases and threw together some half-assed costumes and headed for the girls half of the floors, see the dorm was 6 stories tall and each floor was divided in half with the boys on one side and the girls on the other with the elevator lobby in the middle. We got down on our knees and went room to room knocking on the doors yelling trick-or treat… and boy did we get some treats. Not only were our pillowcases full of candy and other goodies (I’ll let you use your imagination on what else wound up in them) but we also got quite a show from the girls as well, if you know what I mean, who thought we were quite cute. We got invited into more than a few rooms for, well……. you can use your imagination here again. We never did get far before curfew came along and had to head back to our room but what a time we had and continued to have with all the girls we met that night…..

  18. Thank you for finally answering a question that I have wanted to know for a while now. You are more of a nut than I am.

  19. I did the same thing once…except I was in a cow suit, on the roof of the high school, and I was throwing popcorn at a tailgate party. Nobody invited me to their ‘step up day tailgate party’. So I made them suffer. :D

  20. There was never another costume day because that one was the GREATEST ONE EVER. They wanted to end it on a high note.

  21. What, did you lose a bet or something?? That sounds crazy, especially the fact that you did it outside the building! It would have been bad enough inside the walls of the firm!! LOL

  22. I dress up as a Doctor and go to work everyday..

    Yea, I’ve got the diploma and I’ve passed the exams. I even know the secret hand shake. But deep down inside, I know i’m a fake..

    No one else has a clue..

  23. Well…you apparently destroyed something beautiful…that people weren’t properly enjoying anyways.

    I think that means you came out ahead. Well done!

  24. Did they have surveillance video around the building on that day? Would you have “rights” to that video if it did? And if you did, could you post it here?

    I hope I’m the first to post today.

  25. Great! Could have been me :-)
    I thought I was cool because I wore reindeer horns one christmas to get a free lunch.
    I should find out where I can buy a Power Ranger costume…

  26. Doesn’t that sort of thing happen every day in SF? I’m surprised anyone even noticed you in your costume.

  27. I can honestly say I didn’t expect that punchline…guess I should have. If every day was costume day the world would be a much better place.

  28. This story sounds very “Pig” like.

    I wear a witch’s hat every year. My husband says that it is the one day every year when I dress as myself.

  29. I take every opportunity I can get to smugly stick it to my firm without anyone being able to call me out on it. You want costumes, you get Power Rangers: end of story.

  30. I used to be a member of the Power Rangers official fan club. They were awesome.

    You gained so much of my admiration from this story, ironically. Anyone (let alone a lawyer) who was willing to do that is awesome in my books.

    Question is, though: What colour were you?

  31. Why, fruitshake-head, WHY! NOT COSTUME DAY! NOOOO! THOSE POOR LAWYERS! HAVEN’T THEY SUFFERED ENOUGH!? WHY MUST TAKE AWAY COSTUME DAY FROM THEM? NOW THEY HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR!!!!!

  32. LOL…Wow thats too funny! So is this why you arent in law anymore? Thank-you for sharing your unique brand of humor with the world.

  33. … thats… interesting. I suppose, just like your comic strip (according to Rat) you have no shame.

  34. This is really wiered, and I’m not surprised that was the last costume day they had. But, it’s still funny!

  35. Pingback: The Pearls Before Swine blog - All Narfed Up

  36. i wan to purchase the all power rangers heros toys.
    Is it avilable in delhi.
    If, yes please guide where is it avilable.

  37. Kick ass! I’ve been a fan of the Power Rangers from the beginning – and I was in college at the time, so I completely get it. Sorry it screwed everyone out of costume day from then on.

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